WHO KNEW?

Trailer of An American Crime

Unable to sleep I came across the film An American Crime. I read the brief information provided and learned the stars were Catherine Keener and Ellen Page so I decided to watch. I had never heard of the production or the true story of Sylvia Likens (Page) and what was considered the most horrible documented crime on an individual in the history of Indianapolis.

I watched with a knot in my stomach that just kept twisting as the film became more macabre, vicious and frightening, it was almost unbelievable. Unfortunately what I was watching was true and extremely tame compared to the actual crimes perpetrated on Sylvia by Gertrude Baniszewski (Keener). The film inter-cut between the courtroom testimony of the other five children and Sylvia’s own sister who were being cared for by “Gertie.” What I saw was so difficult that this is not going to be a film review at this time, but my reaction.

As soon as the film was over I googled the story and found myself reading various newspaper and journal articles. I wanted an answer as to how this could happen? I also wanted to know what the value was in making such a horrific, terrifying film? Only one conclusion made sense and both stars echoed the sentiment that her story needed to be told. Perhaps because it is so disturbing, it may make someone do something if ever they suspect that abuse is going on. Finally to remind people that Sylvia is just one precious life struck down by cruel, mentally unfit adults, scared children and seriously flawed judgement by so many others who could have, with one word saved this girls life.

No one said a thing as screams emanated from that house. Children told parents who either did not believe it or somehow ignored it for whatever reason. And neighbors, who heard just stayed to themselves. This is the crime which boils my blood as much as the torture Sylvia endured and that is the stark reality with which people live.

Ellen Page’s performance is heartbreaking and I wonder how one might be mentally able to sustain work in such a role.  I can’t imagine it not being something that will haunt her on some level.  Keener, although played with restraint is demonic, depraved, desperate and cruel.  In reconciling whether to do the film (which she originally refused) she finally decided that as a mother she had to. 

While we were laughing it up and watching Juno, Page was making a film quite different, important and controversial.  This is not for everyone.  It is a true crime story played out in gruesome fashion.  Yet for the Sylvia’s who lived and died this way perhaps it should be seen and discussed. 

 Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

Trailer for Lars and the Real Girl click here for review.

Charles Bukowski  said it best. 

If it doesn’t come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don’t do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it for money or
fame,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don’t do it.
if it’s hard work just thinking about doing it,
don’t do it.
if you’re trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.
if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you’re not ready.

don’t be like so many writers,
don’t be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don’t be dull and boring and
pretentious, don’t be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don’t add to that.
don’t do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don’t do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don’t do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.

This Roberta Flack song kills me, and I am amazed at how much I loved his interpretation. David Cook may not win but he is a winner.

I take is back, David won American Idol and in my opinion the first time the best performer won.  Go David.

As I recover from my surgery, every day more lucid and aware of my physical condition, I am at times surprised, amazed and dumbfounded. The body is so complex, so integrated needing all parts to behave in accordance to maintain homeostasis or simply to allow us to not have to think about its workings and go on with our day. Inevitably this leads to some apathy as we take our physical selves for granted. When an unexpected and foreign sensation or uncomfortable feeling begins to draw our attention, it is then that most of us become actively aware of the processes that happen constantly within us and perhaps heed the bodies S.O.S. signals.

With pain there is another set of factors that we become aware of. Pain, an undeniable signal that something has been hurt, pulled, etc… is quickly acknowledged and addressed. Yet what I find fascinating is that try as you might, physical pain leaves no lasting memory of its former self. Emotional pain manages to leave scars that may last a lifetime, yet with physical pain one is off the hook once it is gone. This is surely an adaptive brain function that serves to shield us from that which we are best off not recalling.

When I got sick, the focus was on the prognosis and the best method by which to treat it. There are many tests that are conducted (some quite painful) to pinpoint the correct treatments to alleviate the pain both temporarily and then more permanently. For me this phase was one where opiates played a large role in maintaining some level of comfort until the actual procedure.

Today, one week and one day after my 2 hour surgery, I am still on opiates because in order to fix the problem, an incision across my lower abdomen was made leaving me a bit like Frankenstein in that there are 12 staples holding my belly together. Mind you, showing this to a friend or loved one garners both looks of shock and then a swell of kindness (or pity). Needless to say I find looking at the staples just as horrifying but I put on a brave face, make a small pained sound and immediately try to change the subject. I have full confidence that I will recover fully and that the hideous incision will fade to a barely noticeable scar.

Yet what I am most conscious of is the actual healing. Yes I feel this happening a lot both on the outside and on the inside. It is a pain I don’t believe I can accurately describe now or maybe not ever. Healing involves the flesh transitioning back to it’s former healthy state taking into account the alterations that have been made in the process. With no longer anticipating surgery, or fretting over the preparations there is less to keep the mind off of the changes occuring through the healing process. For someone like myself, having no distractions is difficult and therefore pain is truly experienced.

I have in the past been impatient and sometimes did not heed the doctors warnings, leading to prolonged pain and recovery.  But now that I am all grown up  I realize I must let the healing process continue as it will and not try to do things purely because I think I am invincible.  And so it goes, week 2 of recovery, and I am still somewhat sane. 

 Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm