This guide is for everyone, whether in a new relationship or an established one.

1.  Just met, you like her but it’s very new.

The gift:

Get something you know she likes from a shop you know she goes to.  You are not expected at this phase to buy “the perfect” gift, just one that shows you have at least been paying a little attention.   Also if you get it wrong she can return it and get something she likes better at her favorite shop.  You must get a card, something cute and funny will do.

The message:

A simple “Wishing you a happy fill in the holiday.”

Signing the card:

I am (so) _______ (glad) we met, Bob

Looking forward to getting to know you better, Bob

Hugs and kisses, Bob

2.  New relationship 3-6 months, you are exclusive (you really like her)

The gift:

This gift should show some thought, because it is probably the first fill in the holiday you are spending together.  Again, pay attention to things she sees or mentions while you are shopping or ask one of her friends if you have access to them.  It may be an accessory item, a handbag, scarf or silver jewelry with a stone or charm she likes or has special meaning to her. She will really think it sweet if you remember something she mentioned or saw while you were together. If all else fails these are the gifts that most women would like this season:

- Princess perfume by Vera Wang, classy and you will like it too. – Pretty necklaces and bracelets  with semi-precious stones are totally in style and ones with a message that is personal to you/her is thoughtful. Sold in many mall shops.

- A spa/massage treatment is always a great gift, thoughtful and shows you care how hard she works. Popular spa’s are Bliss Spa, Sephora, Ulta offer spa treatments.    Look up local spa’s they usually run specials for Valentine’s Day.

- Victoria’s Secret is a favorite but you can get more creative than that, right guys?

The message:
- Write at least a paragraph about how you feel about her, how she makes you feel or whatever you are feeling at the time.
- This is the time to be vulnerable but if you are not ready to say “Love” you don’t have to.

Signing the card:

You mean so much to me, Bob

So glad to be spending this fill in the holiday with you, Bob

Looking forward to more happy times with you, Bob

You are in my heart today and everyday, Bob

3.  6-12 months, you are either in love, falling in love or already declared your love.

The gift:
- A weekend getaway is ideal. Bed and Breakfasts, Hotels and Ski Resorts have last-minute deals, but there is nothing like pre-planning.
- Pamper her with a romantic dinner and run a tub or hot tub if you can arrange it. Bring flowers and candy too, it decorates the room and makes it special. - Maybe a CD of music for a romantic evening. This is the perfect time to seal the deal guys; it’s fill in the holiday and BECAUSE it is corny and cheesy tell her you love her. Secretly we love cheesy and sappy during the holidays if we are in love.

- Jewelry is a safe bet here.

- Also you can bridge the “I am falling in love with you,” if you have not reached it just yet, (or if you are a wimp because nobody “thinks” they feel love for someone, this is one you KNOW.) but whatever, go at your own pace.

The message:
Spill it. You love this woman and you want to keep her indefinitely. A full paragraph with your heart racing with nervousness is what I am talking about. Trust me, the pay off will be worth it. If this is where you are with a woman showing it during the holidays is the only way to go. Even if she says she doesn’t care, DO NOT LISTEN. Just say it, most of us are not Shakespeare, women know, they don’t care how you say it, just that you do, and in this case write it too.

Signing the card:

All my love, Bob

Love you, Bob (playful)

I love you with all my heart, Bob (serious)

Oh I forgot, I wanted to tell you that I love you, Bob

I love you and want you to be my wife, Bob (Just in case)

Whatever you do this fill in the holiday with your new babe or your fiancé, have fun, laugh as much as you can, and let love in.  Try not to let the stress that always seems to accompany the big days get in the way of your enjoyment.  Remember, many fights around this time are due to circumstances beyond your control: i.e. planning, travelling, and just the anticipation that the holidays will work out perfect.  This is not the case and is quite rare, so be prepared for some hairy moments and always try to keep a sense of humor.

Please feel free to ask questions if there is something I missed and/or you have a unique situation that does not fit into these three headings.  I will be glad to help you get this fill in the holiday right.

Check out another take on  gift giving during our troubled economic times here.  A lot of great info to be found there.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

I got your back.

You’ve got mine.

Don’t listen to the haters,

We’re doing just fine.

Voices, looks

And exaggeration.

What they say means nothing,

Just causes needless aggravation.

Believe in you and me.

Now is what we have,

No one can tell us

What it ought to be.

Our only concern

Should be loving each other.

Enjoying the gift

Of the love of another.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

May it be a holiday.

New Year’s Eve or your Birthday.

Halloween,  Mother’s Day or graduation.

All of them deserve a celebration.

Dress up in a beaded gown.

A tailored suit won’t let you down.

Wear the colors of the season.

Some days you don’t need a reason.

Any day can be a joyous surprise .

Once you open up your eyes.

So nice to see The New York Giants defeat the Dallas Cowboys 35-14 and the Jets winning against the Buffalo Bills.

Have you felt nirvana in the arms of another,
Falling so deeply, you mesh into one?

Have you seen the devil in the eyes of a lover,
seeing into your core, while they’re coming undone.

Did you notice the void, while flesh intertwined,
lost completely, yet knowing that he was far gone?

Did it take you forever, to spin out of control,
Body limp and exhausted and with no place to run?

Did you ever believe that he had beaten the demons?
Or were finally relieved when he took out the gun?

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

 

To and fro

Here and there.

You and me,

An unlikely pair.

Borrowing moments

Or minutes or days.

Focused blindly

We live in a haze.

Are we mere mortals

Ready to share?

To expose our hearts

By becoming a pair?

 Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

In the spirit of the holiday season…

“What can be worse than the total agony of being in love?”As spoken by an eleven year old from a line in the film, Love Actually. If you pause for one second and think about it, isn’t love the absolute worst thing ever? I mean it is sheer torture yet it is vital and what we all live for ultimately. Some say it’s not Love but Sex that we do all the work for i.e. Sigmund Freud, but I don’t think he had that one quite figured out.

The absence of love can create the most distressing feelings inside. Sadness, loneliness, the shallow feeling of hating the couple walking hand in hand in front of you on the street. What a nightmare. Yet when in love that couple barely exists for the focus is not on them, but on your own hand in that of your loved ones. Total nonsense I think, turns us into absolute jerks doesn’t it?What is it about love that can have you raging in anger and reeling from joy in the matter of minutes? How is it that we, seemingly rational human beings allow ourselves such beastly behavior? I know its chemical and I know we can’t help it, but why do we put ourselves through it time and again?

Why do we let love in, and then let it ravage us so completely often leaving us in tatters and destroyed? Then as time passes we consciously (or not) do it all over again, risking the same awful result? As adults are we not to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them. When we touch the super hot radiator, don’t we actively avoid it so as not to burn again?

What makes love different? I want to know what you think. I am clearly at a loss because I am responsible for the horrid behavior I speak of. Please share your thoughts with me. Maybe together we can solve this Love thing once and for all? Highly unlikely but worth a shot, no?

End Quote

” Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”

Albert Einstein

From the Archives.

Remember…
That first kiss when I pulled you away
Closed the door behind us and slammed you
Up against the wall.
That kiss turned knees to jelly, lips to berries
And sealed our fates it seems.
It appears from far away now,
somewhere lost in dreams.
Memories they remain, time has let the bad fade.

Remember…
When we went to Balthazar that first whirlwind night?
How I thought you had tricked me by telling me your birthday
was the same day as mine.
But it was true,
and I knew then, you knew too, and we were happy.
Things were not perfect, please
I am not deluded, but we were happy.

I Remember…
Making love to you, looking you straight in the eye and knowing you.
Your hair long, formed a halo around your head.
I told you I could look at your face forever.
I meant it you know?
I confess, I saw us having a child,
just one and I knew this would be a loved child,
Nurtured and exposed to unique people such as our families were (are).

Remember…
We watched our friends walk down an aisle with hesitation.
Yet, I did not want to be them in the stuffy NYC hotel with the low ceilings.
No, you and I would have done it differently.
It would have been for us, not a sea of faces that judged us
As they smiled.
But rather before only our loved ones and g-d.

Remember…
Pretending that we won the lottery?
Fantasizing about what we would do?
Take care of our folks, see to it they had everything.
You would write, I would write and we would travel,
Volunteer, make a movie and love each other like only you and I could?
I always wanted you near me yet, I let you go.
I knew we loved each other but there were others we
Needed to love too.

Remember…
The Hamptons? Flashes of bodies writhing in pleasure,
Forgetting all, and everyone outside the doors,
enraptured, entwined and happy.
I remember. You do too.
There is a place in my heart that longs for you even now, today, I would
Drop everything for one try. Can you see it?
No, but I remember.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

I am a sucker for Coldplay. The first time I heard them I thought it was U2 I was listening to. Chris Martin makes no bones about his desire to be the U2 of this generation. I know that for me that makes perfect sense. The music, the ballads are reflective and I know the melancholy is abundant, but I love it. This band touches me. Fix You off of X&Y is another one that hits deep and floods me.  Martin’s voice isn’t perfect, instead it’s vulnerable which makes him believable. 

Coldplay Viva La Vida Live Video Music Awards High Quality

I listened to this song all last summer so I know it influenced the naming of this blog.  For that I pay tribute to Inspiration. Thank you Pink

You send me a message in the form of a  song,

I listen to you singing  all night long.

You know I can’t ignore it,

The ache is getting strong

It feels like any minute,

No matter right or wrong.

Fighting to contain it,

is oh so futile now.

Must be a way to get to you  

You know I will somehow.

Can you remember yearning

in the far depths of your soul.

When all that could sedate it

was blasting hard core Rock and Roll.

For that very moment

A frozen wisp of time.

You’re all I need to help me breath,

Is that some kind of crime?

You sent me a message in the form of a  song,

I listened to you singing all night long.

I still remember yearning

in the far depths of my soul.

When all that would sedate it

was blasting hard core Rock and Roll.


Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

The problem is not new, nor should it be fodder for gossip. Today’s teens are simply running wild.  They are greater risk takers, more sexually active and overly informed than any teenage population that came before.  From MTV pimping over the top Sweet Sixteen celebrations, as voyeuristic glances into the tiny percentage of the population that can afford to have Usher at their parties. To “reality dating” shows modeling behaviors that are breeding  at risk teens and young adults, by promoting excessive drinking and providing hot tubs as an option for each date.  The media and the freely accessibile internet access colludes with the corruption of our teenage children.  Yet, it is as if we forget that the main responisibility for what our teens do falls squarely on parents for no other influence is as great and as influential as that of family.Web 2.0 and “social networking” are a  much more effective means of communication utilized feverishly by adolescents.  Advancements such as video chats, give adolescent the more private forum to “explore” with various behaviors and cultures, alternate lifestyles and some really out there “freakish” things we as adults can’t even grasp.  There are now translators for the slang used by kids to “text message” one another.  Yes the illiterate language devised to further stunt any thinking that might be needed to right in full sentences. Do we want our kids paralyzed by gadgets?  Do we want our kids informed by those that have the freedom to express absolutely any view they wish and with pictures and video to make it more entertaining, such as the site The Church of Euthanasia. As a teacher and writer I use the internet to a almost embarassing degree for both information gathering and inspiration for my writing efforts.  I Googled euthanasia for a student who was assigned the topic as a final paper in her English class.  This essay was to be a persuasive argument for or against the controversial practice.  About five to seven links down the results of the search was the link to the church that I mentioned.  Clicking on the site I gasped and shook with anxiety as I finally understood what we (parents, teachers, kids) were up against. The site promotes among other things, death in all forms, sodomy an suicide.  So there I was doing what my students were by researching the topic, and there it was, like any other site.  Organized (not well) just enough to have their information viewed and their “Four Pillars” defined.  I will not share the ideas espoused by this website, but you should take a look sometime and see what your kids read for their school projects. 

The Megan Meier’s story is particularly disturbing and has all the elements that are facilitating an adolescent epidemic of risk taking and poor judgment.  To quickly sum up the Megan Meier’s story is difficult for there are many layers.  It involves female friendships, parenting skills, MySpace, boys and very irresponsible adults.  Megan apparently had a falling out with her close friend and neighbor and this neighbors Mom Lori Drew was concerned that Megan was going to say indecent things about her daughter.  She quickly created a MySpace profile of a young handsome boy she named Josh Evans from a neighboring town, and started communicating with Megan in a flirtatious way.  Megan had been dealing with self esteem issues along with every other adolescent, and found the attention of the young man exciting.  He was cute and sweet and could really understand her.  He told her she was pretty and wanted to be her boyfriend.  She had no reason to think anything else was happening. Three weeks into the internet relationship, he turned on Megan and said she was not the kind of person he wanted to associate with due to things he heard from kids at her school.  She responded with shock, tears and hanging herself with a belt as her parents got ready for dinner downstairs.  It was quickly disclosed that the boy with whom Megan had bonded was really a collaborative effort of a family, initiated by the matriarch Mrs. Drew, and maintained by all.  They explained that they started the profile on MySpace to protect their daughter from slanderous talk (never did Megan say a bad thing about her neighbor or anyone else).  Since the rest of the neighborhood found out about the families twisted game, the Drews has complained of harassment on several occasions.  To date there will be no charges found against the MySpace family hoax or any of the participants. A tragedy like this is unthinkable yet it is subtle, societal and scary. 

If the teenagers seem frightening as they shoot up shopping malls during the holidays, is it possible to assume that the parents must have something to do with it?  As the story of Megan illustrates the power of the internet on our young ones, it also shows parents as they set the example for their children.  Taunting a young person for fun, causing pain and perpetuating deceit are lessons these parents clearly imparted to their own children.  What do we do as members of society to protect our kids from such insidiousness? 

There are several basic parenting principles that can have a positive impact on children.  Use them, and perhaps we can gain back control just enough to produce citizens who we could be proud of.  These basics are not “new age” and they are certainly not difficult to grasp, but do we care to save our kids?  Perhaps we should try. 

Boundaries are a necessity for kids.  They want and need them and parents have to provide them.  Without understanding their own boundaries and those of others, kids have no way to gauge their attitudes and behaviors.  It is not as simple as saying something is good or bad, right or wrong, but why and in what scenario?  Guiding adolescents by defining boundaries allows them to process social behavior and respond to it.  Lynne Spears allowed her young daughter, underage and naïve to not only have an older boyfriend but to basically co-habitate with him.  Some may say, “at least I know they are safe, they are home after all.”  Yet the child was fourteen if the story is at all accurate, when she began dating this young man.  If at fourteen this type of behavior is accepted then it stands to reason that two years into a relationship a pregancy wouldn’t be such a shock after all.  There also appears no discussion about whether these young people had protection or used it, or what type and who provided it?  Why is that not an important enough facet of the story to focus on?  It could only help send the message that there are no guarantees and always that chance that even with protection, there are risks.  Boundaries again play a part in this particular case because not only did Lynne not provide any, but there was also an older sister, incredibly troubled and ridiculously famous,  shirking all decency in front of the entire world.  Losing her children, behaving in a way that could only be seen as psychologically volatile, and big sister Britney Spears never knew a boundary she didn’t obscenely cross.   

Teenagers need to learn through actions about consequences. They must know that an action may have a positive or negative reaction and this fact should come as no surprise by the time a kid is in their teens.  There is plenty of argument about punishment, and I am not sure where I stand on this globally.  Yet parents must define consequences for their children with consistency. 

This brings me to the adolescent’s desperate need for consistency from their parents.  They need to understand clearly what their actions will lead to every time.  It seems as though parents are afraid to provide consistent consequences because they “feel bad” or it seems they fear their kid’s reactions.  If parents allow kids to turn the tables and assume the position of authority, how can they be blamed for their inevitable transgressions?  There are parents and there are children. Parents can not be mistaken for “friends”; they must never stop parenting in a consistent and committed fashion.

This brings us to commitment to our children and to parenting.  This commitment I describe is a life long, full time job parent’s take on when they bring a child into this world.  They must commit to setting boundaries, parenting with consistency and establishing consequences.  They must enforce this on a daily basis without fail.  Does this sound like a Herculean task?  Perhaps it is at times and I by no means wish to imply that parenting in this era is easy or terrain that is well traveled.  Yet the alternative, as we have so clearly been shown again and again in the tabloids, and stories of tragic lost kids doing unthinkable things almost daily by the media, can’t possibly be ignored.  There has to be a better way to guide our youth, than by the examples I have shared.  Without a doubt the answer is parents, parenting, and society’s willingness to see some changes in the way adolescents are perceived and accept them so as to help them. 

There is hope for both the parents and our youth.  I ask you then; will you make the commitment before that hope is extinguished?  I think our kids are worth it. It is up to all of us to convince them of their worth, through guidance, patience and setting a reasonable example. 

Sources sited:

1. www.ok-magazine.com  Jamie Lynn Spears Says She’s Pregnant

Dec 18, 2007

1. www.nytimes.com/2007/12/16/fashion/16meangirls.html When the Bullies Turned Faceless by Christopher Maag.  December 16, 2007
2. www.churchofeuthanasia.org

  Copyright ©2007 Veronica Romm

First love is torturous.  When it is also true love and presents itself at a very unfair age, it is a romance that will be tested… Who could possibly imagine that at seventeen, eighteen the high school boyfriend, the first love is the love? A love so strong and true it haunts her, always there in her heart and that place where nothing else will ever reside.

She lives and loves, enjoys fulfilling relationships with other people from various backgrounds who teach her the lessons she was meant to learn. Those loves can not be diminished for they help define the true love that is lost. With each bond extinguished the emptiness of the loss of him multiplies, grows when it should dim.

What if then he is once again there, wherever there may be? So close in proximity his presence is a constant tug on that place in her heart once she glimpses his face again. He is angry, still very angry, and again very angry. He says that she changed him, made him callous, and made him fear. The idea stabs her heart and that place where he still exists as he was, an idea that has been lost.

What if he is still that same boy who wants to free himself from fear and open up the place he says she destroyed? When he looks at her and the eyes, the eyes that haven’t changed the eyes she fell in love with, convey emotions that make that place in the heart tear a bit further, hemorrhage slowly. 

She sees in those eyes the only man she ever met who she would want to be the Daddy. She sees in those eyes, in utter disbelief the man she has never let go. The one she would tell her best girlfriends about late nights, tears streaming down their cheeks, for the friend always believed too.

What if there is no chance he will ever trust her, ever let him get to know her as she is now? Never letting her show him how he loved her, how he taught her to love and because of fear and anger, lock away that place in his heart that only she had been given. Locked in a safe with the combination a faint memory.

All he sees when she looks in his wondrous eyes is the one that caused pain she cannot ever understand. He only wants to turn his back on her, walk away; speed away for it is dangerous to not speed full throttle out of her midst.

What if he goes against all that he thought he knew and lets her in? What if he takes the supreme chance and lets a love he can’t deny still exists, enter his life? What a chance he would be taking. He was once a gambling man but the odds, are hardly worth it?  Or maybe the only risk worth taking?

What if he lets her in and she can put her guard down just long enough to show him how much love she has to offer him? What if they are as they should be perhaps, if things like that happen? Can they happen? Would he take that chance because he is like her and can’t deny that they are the most real he will ever be?

What if he never lets her in and wonders always if maybe she was who she claimed she was, the one that he loves just as she loves him? How will she stop the bleeding of her heart? How will he live knowing that she bleeds for him? With steely resolve? With regret and resentment?

What if they live happily ever after?

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

The Veteran’s Day Classic:

Since it is Veteran’s Day  Nov. 11, this post seems to be getting very popular again. I love the story behind the image as much as I like the image. A powerful moment captured on film, timeless and timely.

Glenn Edward McDuffie knows why the sailor kissing a white-clad nurse in that famous photo has his wrist bent back in an awkward position. Taken August 14, 1945 in New York City’s Times Square moments after the crowd there heard World War II had ended, that photo has epitomized the jubilant mood of a nation who had won our hard fought victory. Glenn knows why that sailor has his wrist twisted because he is that sailor. Glenn had come to New York after coming off the SS Alexander Lillinton with Jack Holmes (from Pittsburg), the sailor in the dark uniform seen laughing in that same photo. Glenn also knows the sailor in the white uniform’s name is Bob Little from Buffalo, New York since he also served on the same ship.

Now ready to turn 80 this August 3rd, Glenn wants to celebrate the 62nd anniversary of his kiss of an overjoyed nurse by setting the record straight. Though numerous would-be kissing sailors have tried to lay claim to being the man in the photo, none know what Glenn McDuffie knows because they are not the man in the photo. Glenn not only knows the names and home towns of the only other sailors seen in the photo. He knows why the sailor smooching the nurse has his hand in such an unnatural position. Glenn tells it like this,

“I rode the subway into Times Square, got off, and when I walked up the stairs, a woman at the top said she was so happy for me. I ask hey ‘Why?’ and she said ‘the war is over, you can go home now!’ I was so excited I started jumping up and down and hollering because my oldest brother was a Japanese prisoner of war. He was there when the Philippines fell. Then this nurse held out her arms and I just looked up because I thought we were going to get run over. When I saw it was a photographer, I bent my hand back so you could see the lady’s face…”

Glenn McDuffie’s chivalrous act is the only explanation that makes sense when one views the photo. Not only does Glenn know why the strange hand position and the names of every sailor in the photo, he is the only man claiming to be the “kissing sailor” who has taken and passed a lie detector test on that subject. In fact, Glenn has passed 10 polygraph examinations proving his claims of being the man in the photo are truthful. In September 1980, he took two polygraph examinations administered by Smiths Security Agency for ABC Channel 13 (Houston, TX) at the behest of reporters John Davenport and Marvin Zindler. On February 14, 1981, the took a series of five tests, all by different operators, for F. Lee Baily’s syndicated Lie Detector show. Finally, on August 13, 2005, David Raney, Houston’s premier polygraph expert tested Glenn, and he passed with flying colors. Raney has a large poster of the famous photo in this lobby, signed by the man he is certain is in the photo: Glenn McDuffie.

Glenn was shipboard in the middle of the Atlantic on August 27, 1945, when the photo of him and the nurse in a jubilant embrace came out in print for the elated American public. Glenn never saw it till years later. During the summer of 1945 he was more worried about whether his brother, Willie Durant McDuffie, would be liberated from the Japanese. Over the years, McDuffie has tolerated men who did not know the names of the other sailors in the photo and who did not pass, or even agree to offers, of lie detector tests, making frivolous claims they were the man in the photo. None of these men even mention the chivalrous bended hand to show the nurse’s face. This plausible reason for the pose proves his first hand experience that day.

The only man who knows everything about the photo is a hero who fought for our country and deserves his due. The young nurse held out her arms right after hearing the war was won and Glenn McDuffie delivered a passionate kiss, chivalrously twisting his hand to show a photographer her face. This country owes Glenn some chivalry now.

Original post. Romance it dead.

This photo is not as romantic as you think… On August 14, 1945 the news of Japan’s surrender was announced in the United States, signaling the end of World War II. Riotous celebrations erupted in the streets, but perhaps none were more relieved than those in uniform. Although many of them had recently returned from victory in Europe, they faced the prospect of having to ship out yet again, this time to the bloody Pacific.

Among the overjoyed masses gathered in Times Square that day was one of the most talented photojournalists of the 20th century, a German immigrant named Alfred Eisenstaedt. While snapping pictures of the celebration, he spotted a sailor “running along the street grabbing any and every girl in sight.” He later explained that, “whether she was a grandmother, stout, thin, old, didn’t make any difference.”  Of course, a photo of the sailor planting a wet one on a senior citizen wouldn’t have made the cover of Life, but when he locked lips with an attractive nurse, the image was circulated in newspapers across the country. Needless to say, “V-J Day” didn’t capture a highly anticipated embrace by long-lost lovers, but it also wasn’t staged, as many critics have claimed. In any case, the image remains an enduring symbol of America’s exuberance at the end of a long struggle.

Did the Gods always know what we are just learning now?

It seems quite implausible, yet they must have somehow.

For years there were flashes and glimpses of your face, your eyes, and smile so sure.

Unaware each time that I had been dreaming of you,

disguised each time by a light bright and pure.

I believe that I dreamt of you before the first time we met.

As a small child you came to me often in slumber

making sure I would never forget.

Some say that souls travel through this life and next searching for the other.

Across space, time, distance and fate they must be joined together.

Once they do, like magic it’s instant! 

Recognizing the one they have traveled to meet.

The other awaits with open arms extended, there, to lovingly greet.

Knowing they are the one they have waited to hold close and near.

Their spirits embrace as they shed doubts and fears.

Fate had it all planned, with the story written and lovers divined.

A game for the Gods, watching them search until they allow them to find.

That elusive piece to the puzzle, two halves of a whole.

The prize is the lovers bound by the soul.

That magnetic connection, the peace they each crave.

Across space, time, distance and fate they forged ahead both gallant and brave.

And hearts that were weighted with sagas of pain each had to bare.

Yet now they are one, a force to behold, to the future they dare.

Copyright ©2007 Veronica  Romm

This too will pass…

         One Answer….for all questions.

this meditation technique is quite different from those that I described earlier. This technique is actually a contemplation exercise and involves thinking over life. Though people of all age can try this technique, it is basically suitable for people with mature age (I mean 18 & above). The reason is that only those who have lived a certain (substantial) duration of life can reflect back on their past. Very young people who are still in the initial phase of their life are less likely (though not impossible) to analyze their life from the angle which this meditation demands. Nevertheless, this meditation technique is very useful for knowing our true self.

Method:  

First read this thought provoking story:-

Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them,

” Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstance, in every place and in every time. Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me. Tell me is there any mantra?”

All wise men got puzzled by King’s question. One answer for all questions? Something that works everywhere, in every situation? In every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory? They thought and thought. After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to king and gave him something written on paper. But the condition was that king was not to see it out of curiosity. Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he’ll have to see it. The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.

After a few days, the neighbors attack the Kingdom. It was a collective surprise attack of King’s enemies. King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. King had to flee on his horse. The enemies were following him. His horse took him far away in Jungle. He could hear many troops of horses were following him and the noise was coming closer and closer. Suddenly the King found himself standing in the end of the road – that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished…and he could not return because it was a small road…From back the sound of enemy’s horses was approaching fast. King became restless. There seemed to be no way.

Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring. He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was very small but very great.

The message was – “This too will pass.”

The King read it. Again read it. Suddenly something strike in his mind- Yes! It too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his pleasure have gone. I am here trying to escape from enemies. However when those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. Calm come on his face. He kept standing there. The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom. The revelation of message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forget about those following him. After a few minute he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved into some other part of the mountains and were not on that path.

The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regains his lost empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fan fare at the door. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory. Everyone was in a festive mood. Flowers were being thrown on King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself,” I am one of the bravest and greatest Kings. It is not easy to defeat me.: With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.

Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He opens it and read it again: “This too will pass”

He became silent. His face went through a total change -from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness.

If this too is going to pass, it is not yours.
The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours.
You are just a watcher. Everything passes by

We are witness of all this. We are the perceiver. Life come and goes. Happiness come and goes. Sorrow come and goes.

Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. This too will pass. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent? They all come and pass away. Life just passes away.

There were friends in past. They all have gone.
There are friends today. They too will go.
There will be new friends tomorrow. They too will go. 

There were enemies in past. They have gone.
There may be enemy in present. They too will go.
There will be new enemies tomorrow and……they too will go.

There is nothing permanent in this world. Every thing changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows. All have passed away. If there are problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever. Joy and sorrow are the two faces of the same coin. They both will pass away. Who are you in reality? Know your real face. Your face is not your true face. It will change with the time. However, there is something in you, which will not change. It will remain unchanged.  What is that unchangeable? It is nothing but your true self.

You are just a witness of change. Experience it, understand it.

Everyday for 10-15 minutes sit in silence. Just think over the sentence, “This too will pass.” Pondering over your own life will make you realize the true meaning of this sentence. Everything passes yet your real identity remains the same. That real you is your true self. To know that self is true meditation.

Meditation is easy.com -article source and page link.

‘Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark our coming, and look brighter when we come.  ~Lord Byron