I got your back.

You’ve got mine.

Don’t listen to the haters,

We’re doing just fine.

Voices, looks

And exaggeration.

What they say means nothing,

Just causes needless aggravation.

Believe in you and me.

Now is what we have,

No one can tell us

What it ought to be.

Our only concern

Should be loving each other.

Enjoying the gift

Of the love of another.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

One year ago today Heath Ledger died of an accidental overdose leaving behind a daughter and throngs of adoring fans. It is hard to believe it has already been a year, probably due to the amount of media coverage his last film role has received. Today the nominations for the Academy Awards were announced and not surprisingly Ledger was nominated for best supporting actor as The Joker in last years smash hit The Dark Night. Last year I wrote a post in memory of Heath and Brad Renfro who had passed right around the same time.  I am re-posting (Jan. 31, 2008 was the original post date)  it because I think it did a good job describing my feelings about the tragic loss of this fine young actor.  May Heath rest in peace knowing he was loved and appreciated for his work as an actor as well as his character as a man.

For me when someone talented, interesting and special dies regardless of whether I knew them on a personal level, or admired their talent from a far, I grieve. The last two weeks have seen the death of two talented young men first Brad Renfro and then Heath Ledger. The minute I learned of each I had the same initial reaction.

1. Utter shock (stomach drops)

2. Disbelief (Heart races)

3. Curiosity (Reading as much as I could on initial reports)

I must digress for one moment. I interviewed both Actors between 1997-1999 when I worked press junkets for major motion pictures. They were both very young, handsome and talented, Renfro who was amazing in The Client and I had interviewed the cast of Apt Pupil.

I became a fan of Ledger’s initially for the obvious reasons, he was great to look at and charming. Through the years his films became better and he would shine in each role. Brokeback Mountain showed a mature actor taking risks and worthy of all the accolades, including an Oscar nomination. I have seen almost all of his films since. Candy was another heart breaking performance, as Ledger and Cornish brought to life the book of the same name.

The media coverage and all of the speculation took the focus off of the actual loss of Heath. Once again I experienced,

1. Anger (too young, too good)

2. Curiosity( continued almost non stop coverage by media)

3. Disbelief (Each time I saw his face, stomach drops)

Now that is has been several days and his memorial in Hollywood took place, his body is in his country and his family must bury their extraordinary son I feel,

1. Profound sadness.

2. Grief

3. And the beginnings of acceptance.

So this morning when I got on the computer I let myself truly experience the emotions by watching tributes to both Heath and Brad. Yes, I cried and smiled as I saw the familiar faces on the screen in roles I loved. I listened to their words in interviews and the songs played on tribute pieces compiled by so many on YouTube. I let myself feel the grief of knowing that these images, still or moving were the only ones left, their legacy. Of course Dark Knight has yet to be released, and this will cause a new wave of sadness and maybe anger.

The stages of grief are fluid. They are repeated and recycled until time allows otherwise. I have friends who think I am foolish, ridiculous and childish for caring at all. They certainly do not take me seriously and I usually try to avoid discussing these people with them because they say things purely out of ignorance and it simply angers me and makes me wonder how people could be so heartless.

I know that I am perhaps extra sensitive and that I cannot judge others for what they feel. However through the use of this tool, my trusty blog I can express my feelings freely and not care if I am judged to be overly sentimental or foolish. I love film and I love actors. So here is my tribute to a young man who shined on screen and whose light dimmed tragically early.

HEATH LEDGER TRIBUTE – IN MEMORY

Today November 4, 2008 we are all a part of the most important event in political history.  Barack Obama, the Democratic candidate might possibly become the first black president of the United States.  Watching the two years of endless campaigning has been daunting, annoying, and often shocking.   Republican nominee John McCain, a Vietnam veteran and POW opposes the historical Democratic nominee.

Barack Obama

John McCain

While I am writing I am seeing voter turn out in the tri-state area at an all time high rate with lines outside the door in some locations.

The candidates

Whatever your thoughts are on the campaign, the candidates or issues one thing can not be denied and that is the importance of this unprecedented election.

What has been a campaign fraught with many unpleasant, ignorant and even funny moments, now comes down to voting.  Nothing would surprise me today or tonight.  I just hope that tomorrow morning there is a new president elect.  May the best man win.

Social networking and it’s pros and cons have been debated since the popularity of such sites as Myspace, Facebook and Twitter have increased and become part of the new Internet age. The Megan Meier’s story is particularly disturbing and has all the elements that are facilitating an adolescent epidemic of risk taking and poor judgment. To quickly sum up the Megan Meier’s story is difficult for there are many layers. It involves female friendships, parenting skills, MySpace, boys and very irresponsible adults.

Megan Meier

Megan apparently had a falling out with her close friend and neighbor and this neighbors mom Lori Drew was concerned that Megan was going to say indecent things about her daughter. She quickly created a MySpace profile of a young handsome boy she named Josh Evans from a neighboring town, and started communicating with Megan in a flirtatious way. Megan had been dealing with self esteem issues along with every other adolescent, and found the attention of the young man exciting. He was cute and sweet and could really understand her. He told her she was pretty and wanted to be her boyfriend. She had no reason to think anything else was happening. Three weeks into the Internet relationship, he turned on Megan and said she was not the kind of person he wanted to associate with due to things he heard from kids at her school. She responded with shock, tears and hanging herself with a belt as her parents got ready for dinner downstairs.

It was quickly disclosed that the boy with whom Megan had bonded was really a collaborative effort of a family, initiated by the matriarch Mrs. Drew, and maintained by all. They explained that they started the profile on MySpace to protect their daughter from slanderous talk (never did Megan say a bad thing about her neighbor or anyone else). Since the rest of the neighborhood found out about the families twisted game, the Drew’s has complained of harassment on several occasions. To date there will be no charges found against the MySpace family hoax or any of the participants. A tragedy like this is unthinkable yet it is subtle, societal and scary.

Lori Drew

Update:
Since the story broke I have been paying close attention to the outcome. The strong outcry from all over propelled the law to be reassessed. While the heinous acts of this adult became known across the nation, and indeed even the world, justice seemed to escape Megan Meier.

In May 2008, a federal grand jury in California defied Missouri officials’ refusal to prosecute the case. It indicted Lori Drew on charges of fraudulently using an account on MySpace. Finally, someone had the (courage) to FIND a law to fit the case. Someone finally figured out how to tell Lori Drew that what she did was wrong. Justice was coming, from California of all places!

Well now the verdict is in.

While jurors could not agree on the four charges brought by the federal indictment, they did find Lori Drew guilty of three misdemeanor offenses. This is not the victory we had hoped for. However, no longer will this adult walk away — completely unpunished for her actions. Kansascity.com

This story has been one that managed to be so disgraceful and kept my attention hoping that some sort of justice would be served.  Originally I feared that there would not be any charges brought against Lori Drew due to the tenuous nature of the crime.  I am pleased to know that the case appalled many and that there were lawyers willing to find any loophole to indict Drew.  Her behavior displays the absolute worst in people, callus and calculated Drew spun a web that led to a death.  Her irresponsible and reckless disregard for the feelings of a teenager, her malice and anti-social penchant for bullying is the worst example she could possibly set for  her own children.  God help her family and hopefully this will be a lesson for others who think the Internet is a means for abuse and bullying.

Please read The New Yorker piece on this story here.

Led Zeppelin Thank you

Some lovely quotes.

Gratitude is the sign of noble souls. ~ Aesop

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present. ~ Albert Camus

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. ~ Mark Twain

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention. ~ Oscar Wilde

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, be safe and enjoy all the yummy food.  veronicaromm

If you have been at all keeping up with my posts, you probably know that I am very inquisitive. Here are some interesting and witty quotes about questions, as they are so a part of me.

The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best – and therefore never scrutinize or question.
~ Stephen Jay Gould

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. ~ Thomas Jefferson

A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions–as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. ~ James Thurber

Judge of a man by his questions rather than by his answers. ~Voltaire

source

A prudent question is one-half of wisdom. ~Francis Bacon

It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry. ~Thomas Paine

To be or not to be that is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the stings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take up arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing them, end them. Hamlet~ William Shakespeare

source

In examinations, the foolish ask questions the wise cannot answer. ~Oscar Wilde

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

~Woody Allen

Source

T.I. – Whatever You Like

The video above is the latest from rapper T.I. This young man currently has a hit disc Paper Trail and has been on several talk shows such as Chelsea Lately (hilarious) and Tyra Banks (horrendous) among others. The song he sings is uplifting and deals with love, has a cute, catchy tune and shows off his other trademark, his very appealing look. He is a triple threat in that he can sing, write music, act and look great doing it all. Women LOVE him and the second of his two No. 1 singles features Rihanna another stunner.

On the flip side to Tip (his real name) is a former pimp, called the “rubber-band man” for wearing rubber bands around his wrists in order to keep all the money he made selling women organized. He was serving his house arrest sentence when he wrote the disc that is now a massive selling hit. Shortly he will be serving out a sentence of one year and one day in prison for possession of numerous machine guns. T.I. is twenty-eight years old and has six children, three with the woman he is currently with.

Watching the video and seeing this charming and attractive guy sing a Cinderella song with a sweet message and great tune, makes me feel several emotions simultaneously. First there is the attraction which can be blinding. Then there is this feeling after learning a few basic facts that this young man is making good, paying his debt to society and I feel proud of how far he has come. At the same time, seeing his rubber bands still prominently worn on the wrists makes me wonder whether he is glorifying his past? The newer charges and impending jail term seem so reckless for someone who is on top of his game. Why the machine guns now? The lawyers that his success can pay for are the best and yet he still got time, begging the question, what else was he charged with and what kind of deal was made?

T.I. has clearly seen a lot in his twenty eight years. Living as both a criminal and a star with an extensive entourage one might think he will stay on the straight and narrow. However, success can make the ego so delusional as to empower the individual to develop a sense of invincibility.  What’s in store for T.I. is impossible to predict, yet I am curious enough to pay attention to this talented hustler as he navigates stardom.

King

Humor is so important to survival. Laughter is actually good for you and those that can find ways to maintain both are lucky when it comes to dealing with life’s many difficulties. It’s importance has been a topic of much discussion and many of the greatest minds both comedic and otherwise have had much to say about it. Here are some choice quotes I found today and wanted to share. Please add your own favorite quotes in the comments if you are so inclined. It’s Friday and I am all about the funny today.

• Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist. ~George Burns

• I try to offset any tendency towards the macabre with humor. As I see it, this is a typically English form of humor. It’s a piece with such jokes as the one about the man who was being led to the gallows to be hanged. He looked at the trap door in the gallows, which was flimsily constructed, and he asked in some alarm, ‘I say, is that thing safe?’ ~Alfred Hitchcock

• A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

• Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. ~Mark Twain

• Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.~Peter Ustinov

• There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.~Will Rogers

• “Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.” ~Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat

• “I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.” ~e e cummings

• “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” ~Oscar Wilde

• “God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.~ Voltaire

I thought it was time to show some love and appreciation to some of the wonderful people (and their blogs) whom I have met this past year on-line. This is a list of diverse sites and authors,  each so unique and creative. I would highly recommend stopping by their sites, I believe there is something for everyone . In no particular order let me acknowledge some fellow bloggers and friends. Thank you all.

Zestycook by Cory

Billy the blogging poet

The year of the chick by Romi

Robert’s Linknotes (rjj on SU)

Midlife Bachelor by Greg

The happiest blog on earth by Terence

So nice to see The New York Giants defeat the Dallas Cowboys 35-14 and the Jets winning against the Buffalo Bills.

Blowing Back Her Kisses
If I could write for her a symphony

would it stand the test of time?

If I wrote for her the perfect poem

would it have the perfect rhyme?

Would I come to miss her tender kiss

if she blew each kiss my way?

And if I were to run to her

would she hope that I would stay?

My Response

If I wrote the perfect words.

And said the perfect things?

Would they make him stop writing these,

and all the joy they bring?

Could I ever speak a thoughtless phrase,

and risk hurting him dear?

Am I worthy of the compliments?

This is my only fear.

I stumbled through a page today,
And found a friend along the way.
A simple hello and nice to meet you,
Followed by sharing a picture or two.
We noticed the hats right from the start
It may have helped her in standing apart.
From all over the world I meet great artists and minds.
Yet something told me we were two of a kind.
The oddest things came quickly to light.
Our lives would reveal a similar plight.
Instantly there was a comfort there.
I found that with her I am able to share.
No fear of judgment provides a space.
I need to have in order to trace.
The path that I’ve wandered that got me here
Those personal stories I can share without fear
Together I see something greater than two.
A friendship that helps both of us make it through.

I wrote this poem for my best friend Spencer Parris, today I learned that he was shot to death on July 17.  I had been calling and looking for him, I finally wrote an email and learned this .  It is not true, and he was killed by a trigger happy intoxicated cop.  I am in shock, utter and total complete shock, and I want my friend back, and I am posting this because I wrote it to my friend and I will never see him again.

Thank you note: Jan 13 2008 original post

You’re like the brother I never had,

The friend I’ve always needed.

My truth when I need a jolt of reality,

Unfortunately, not always heeded.

Your honesty is never lost on me

I marvel at your generosity.

I learn from you, laugh with you, and argue with you.

You listen to me, laugh at me, and keep me true.

I wanted to share these things, before life interfered inevitably.

As life always does, in ways we may not be able to foresee.

So Friend, let me take this moment to recognize you.

My friend, brother and more, I just wanted to say

“Thank You.”

Copyright ©2007 Veronica Romm

In the spirit of the holiday season…

“What can be worse than the total agony of being in love?”As spoken by an eleven year old from a line in the film, Love Actually. If you pause for one second and think about it, isn’t love the absolute worst thing ever? I mean it is sheer torture yet it is vital and what we all live for ultimately. Some say it’s not Love but Sex that we do all the work for i.e. Sigmund Freud, but I don’t think he had that one quite figured out.

The absence of love can create the most distressing feelings inside. Sadness, loneliness, the shallow feeling of hating the couple walking hand in hand in front of you on the street. What a nightmare. Yet when in love that couple barely exists for the focus is not on them, but on your own hand in that of your loved ones. Total nonsense I think, turns us into absolute jerks doesn’t it?What is it about love that can have you raging in anger and reeling from joy in the matter of minutes? How is it that we, seemingly rational human beings allow ourselves such beastly behavior? I know its chemical and I know we can’t help it, but why do we put ourselves through it time and again?

Why do we let love in, and then let it ravage us so completely often leaving us in tatters and destroyed? Then as time passes we consciously (or not) do it all over again, risking the same awful result? As adults are we not to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them. When we touch the super hot radiator, don’t we actively avoid it so as not to burn again?

What makes love different? I want to know what you think. I am clearly at a loss because I am responsible for the horrid behavior I speak of. Please share your thoughts with me. Maybe together we can solve this Love thing once and for all? Highly unlikely but worth a shot, no?

End Quote

” Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”

Albert Einstein

The measure of a man must be taken with care.

What looks and sounds good on the outside can be empty and bare.

Words that are spoken should only be heard,

Not ever taken as his final word.

When he tells you he loves you, this may be a bad sign.

Please spare me the bullshit, without them I was doing just fine.

When jealousy starts to get a hold of this nut.

Watch how his words go from “I love you” to “Slut.”

Oh and if this man has himself a wife.

Tell him to go and get a f*&^ing life.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

This has been one of my favorite poems since I was quite young.

In 1999, John F. Kennedy Jr., his wife, Carolyn, and her sister, Lauren Bessette, died when their single-engine plane, piloted by Kennedy, plunged into the Atlantic Ocean near Martha’s Vineyard, Mass.

I remember hearing the first words of the missing plane and who was on it and knowing it was over.  I knew the circumstances, watched it unfold as did everyone because John John was royalty.  He was also this guy who was always downtown in Soho, on his bike, or roller blades. at bars and always a big flirt. 

One summer night in 1998, out with friends celebrating   Max ’s having passed the BAR exam.  We were down on West Broadway at Lucky Strike and Box a very Euro bar with great drinks.  JFK jr. came in, and went to the bar.   Notoriously he had not passed the BAR in his first attempt, and had real difficulty passing it later.  I always saw him  but I would never approach him, there was no reason to and he was always surrounded by women anyway.  So the joke/idea was that we should ask him to join us for a toast to Max for his achievement,  passing the BAR on his first try.   It was teasing and mean and I don’t do mean.  There was no way I would go through with it even though the bar was rather quiet that night and the fact was John John had looked over a few times and smiled his famous smile in our direction.  My friends kept telling me to go over, he was looking and I was being ridiculous, but I had no intention. 

As he was leaving, he veered toward our table and said  ”Hope you are having a good night,”  looking and locking eyes with me and then smiled the killer smile and walked out.  Well my “cool” friends all burst out into nervous laughter as I turned crimson red.   I was so happy they never went through with their childish dig. 

A year later he was married and missing and everyone I knew was crushed ,shocked and in disbelief.  How could it be in real life, that this could happen to him?  I mean why?  The Kennedy curse just would not relent.  I remember my first thought  was, thank G-d Jackie O. had passed, and about Caroline and her utter despair over her baby brother.  The Bessette family losing two daughters in a national tragedy.  The search went on for over three days but I grieved knowing there was no surprise ending. 

It was like Princess Diana all over again.  It devastated the country and the world.

I am a sentimental person so I shared that silly story.  Rest in peace, John, Carolyn and Lauren you are not forgotten.

When I was in the 8th grade I had to commit this to memory. When I taught school I made the kids memorize it as well, though that week they hated me outwardly, they all managed to do it. I hope they still recall it as I do, because for me it was the first time I understood what this country stood for. I was so young then and now though I am somewhat jaded, I still feel patriotic reading it. I am an immigrant and I am proud to be an American.

 

           Happy 4th America                 

From the Archives.

Remember…
That first kiss when I pulled you away
Closed the door behind us and slammed you
Up against the wall.
That kiss turned knees to jelly, lips to berries
And sealed our fates it seems.
It appears from far away now,
somewhere lost in dreams.
Memories they remain, time has let the bad fade.

Remember…
When we went to Balthazar that first whirlwind night?
How I thought you had tricked me by telling me your birthday
was the same day as mine.
But it was true,
and I knew then, you knew too, and we were happy.
Things were not perfect, please
I am not deluded, but we were happy.

I Remember…
Making love to you, looking you straight in the eye and knowing you.
Your hair long, formed a halo around your head.
I told you I could look at your face forever.
I meant it you know?
I confess, I saw us having a child,
just one and I knew this would be a loved child,
Nurtured and exposed to unique people such as our families were (are).

Remember…
We watched our friends walk down an aisle with hesitation.
Yet, I did not want to be them in the stuffy NYC hotel with the low ceilings.
No, you and I would have done it differently.
It would have been for us, not a sea of faces that judged us
As they smiled.
But rather before only our loved ones and g-d.

Remember…
Pretending that we won the lottery?
Fantasizing about what we would do?
Take care of our folks, see to it they had everything.
You would write, I would write and we would travel,
Volunteer, make a movie and love each other like only you and I could?
I always wanted you near me yet, I let you go.
I knew we loved each other but there were others we
Needed to love too.

Remember…
The Hamptons? Flashes of bodies writhing in pleasure,
Forgetting all, and everyone outside the doors,
enraptured, entwined and happy.
I remember. You do too.
There is a place in my heart that longs for you even now, today, I would
Drop everything for one try. Can you see it?
No, but I remember.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm