WHO KNEW? » relationships

A guys guide for gift giving and card signing for the holidays.

veronicaromm — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:30:18 +0000

This guide is for everyone, whether in a new relationship or an established one.

1. Just met, you like her but it’s very new.

The gift:

Get something you know she likes from a shop you know she goes to. You are not expected at this phase to buy “the perfect” gift, just one that shows you have at least been paying a little attention. Also if you get it wrong she can return it and get something she likes better at her favorite shop. You must get a card, something cute and funny will do.

The message:

A simple “Wishing you a happy fill in the holiday.”

Signing the card:

I am (so) _______ (glad) we met, Bob

Looking forward to getting to know you better, Bob

Hugs and kisses, Bob

2. New relationship 3-6 months, you are exclusive (you really like her)

The gift:

This gift should show some thought, because it is probably the first fill in the holiday you are spending together. Again, pay attention to things she sees or mentions while you are shopping or ask one of her friends if you have access to them. It may be an accessory item, a handbag, scarf or silver jewelry with a stone or charm she likes or has special meaning to her. She will really think it sweet if you remember something she mentioned or saw while you were together. If all else fails these are the gifts that most women would like this season:

- Princess perfume by Vera Wang, classy and you will like it too. – Pretty necklaces and bracelets with semi-precious stones are totally in style and ones with a message that is personal to you/her is thoughtful. Sold in many mall shops.

- A spa/massage treatment is always a great gift, thoughtful and shows you care how hard she works. Popular spa’s are Bliss Spa, Sephora, Ulta offer spa treatments. Look up local spa’s they usually run specials for Valentine’s Day.

- Victoria’s Secret is a favorite but you can get more creative than that, right guys?

The message:
- Write at least a paragraph about how you feel about her, how she makes you feel or whatever you are feeling at the time.
- This is the time to be vulnerable but if you are not ready to say “Love” you don’t have to.

Signing the card:

You mean so much to me, Bob

So glad to be spending this fill in the holiday with you, Bob

Looking forward to more happy times with you, Bob

You are in my heart today and everyday, Bob

3. 6-12 months, you are either in love, falling in love or already declared your love.

The gift:
- A weekend getaway is ideal. Bed and Breakfasts, Hotels and Ski Resorts have last-minute deals, but there is nothing like pre-planning.
- Pamper her with a romantic dinner and run a tub or hot tub if you can arrange it. Bring flowers and candy too, it decorates the room and makes it special. - Maybe a CD of music for a romantic evening. This is the perfect time to seal the deal guys; it’s fill in the holiday and BECAUSE it is corny and cheesy tell her you love her. Secretly we love cheesy and sappy during the holidays if we are in love.

- Jewelry is a safe bet here.

- Also you can bridge the “I am falling in love with you,” if you have not reached it just yet, (or if you are a wimp because nobody “thinks” they feel love for someone, this is one you KNOW.) but whatever, go at your own pace.

The message:
Spill it. You love this woman and you want to keep her indefinitely. A full paragraph with your heart racing with nervousness is what I am talking about. Trust me, the pay off will be worth it. If this is where you are with a woman showing it during the holidays is the only way to go. Even if she says she doesn’t care, DO NOT LISTEN. Just say it, most of us are not Shakespeare, women know, they don’t care how you say it, just that you do, and in this case write it too.

Signing the card:

All my love, Bob

Love you, Bob (playful)

I love you with all my heart, Bob (serious)

Oh I forgot, I wanted to tell you that I love you, Bob

I love you and want you to be my wife, Bob (Just in case)

Whatever you do this fill in the holiday with your new babe or your fiancé, have fun, laugh as much as you can, and let love in. Try not to let the stress that always seems to accompany the big days get in the way of your enjoyment. Remember, many fights around this time are due to circumstances beyond your control: i.e. planning, travelling, and just the anticipation that the holidays will work out perfect. This is not the case and is quite rare, so be prepared for some hairy moments and always try to keep a sense of humor.

Please feel free to ask questions if there is something I missed and/or you have a unique situation that does not fit into these three headings. I will be glad to help you get this fill in the holiday right.

Check out another take on gift giving during our troubled economic times here. A lot of great info to be found there.

Posted in advice, article, blog, dating, guys guide, holiday, love, men, relationships, Valentine's day, women, writing Tagged: blog, cards, dating, guys guide, holidays, love, men, opinion, relationships, Valentine's day, women

I got your back.

veronicaromm — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:24:35 +0000

I got your back.

You’ve got mine.

Don’t listen to the haters,

We’re doing just fine.

Voices, looks

And exaggeration.

What they say means nothing,

Just causes needless aggravation.

Believe in you and me.

Now is what we have,

No one can tell us

What it ought to be.

Our only concern

Should be loving each other.

Enjoying the gift

Of the love of another.

Posted in blog, happiness, life, love, people, personal, poetry, relationships, writing Tagged: love, poetry, relatiohsips, web blog, writing

About a Friend

veronicaromm — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:33:12 +0000

From the archives:
This is the most popular of all my poems for the past year so here once again About a Friend.

Yes this is personal and yes it is true.
It is my experience that I am sharing with you.

We were so close like sisters people said.
Closer than that we were, it was over your head.

A bond that sparked instantaneously much like new romance.
Of course those that insinuated such did not follow the dance.

Give give, take take, it all seemed so equal at first.
No shadow of doubt, we would never be cursed.

Hours and days were spent sharing the past.
The laughter and tears were flowing and vast.

Each told of old sorrows and pain we had endured.
Consoling each other, we were each others cure.

We had found one another, knew it was different this time.
The ying to her yang, the partner to our crime.

We turned heads and made people wonder.
Quite a few tried to quiet the thunder.

This gave us our strength, like forces of nature together.
She and I against the world, no storm we couldn’t weather.

Life would charge in and test our power.
Tempted and taunted to see who would cower.

We prevailed time after time, year after year.
We drew lines for others that were perfectly clear.

Then one day it happened, the first of the clues.
A weakness exposed and a hint of a ruse.

“Not us I thought, this was not our path.”
Rips in the fabric, hidden agendas, you do the math.

And with just as much power as we united.
Truth had snuck in though reluctant and uninvited.

The face I began to recognize was that of a stranger.
I saw it clearly and knew of the danger.

I had heard the voice before and I remember I had shuddered.
Those combative words thrust at me she had finally uttered.

The loss was tremendous the grief devastating.
I now understood the line between loving and hating.

I missed her so, wishing for a branch or simply a leaf.
Yet not until I let her go was their any relief.

Why today of all days to write this for all to see?
Perhaps, maybe it means I can at last be free.

Posted in best friends, poetry, relationships, true stories, web blog, women, writing Tagged: blog, loss, poetry, relationships

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (on the Web 2.0)

veronicaromm — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 13:06:13 +0000

From the archives and for new friends:

We have all been through a breakup and felt the inevitable pangs of pain, surges of tears and very real mourning period following the end of a relationship. In today’s world, where social networking and social media can be a significant part of many of our lives, old fashioned heartbreak can be compounded by the “Internet breakup”.

Breaking up with someone with whom you shared your likes and dislikes, sent xoxo’s and matched compatibility quiz results with on sites such as Facebook, MySpace, and of course the uber-popular Youtube, along with the many other social networks brings forth an entirely new set of issues. For instance, how long does one wait to remove from one’s page the comments, photos, and “gifts” (sent while in the often delusional. blissful cloud of love) that stare back and now haunt you? This person was your No. 1 spot in your top friends for heavens sake! What is one to do?

Once these are removed and the STATUS in the profile changes from any of the oh-so-charming descriptions ranging from “it’s complicated” or “in committed relationship” to “single”, what is the proper etiquette for well wishers and others who will invariably ask how you are coping, what happened and other questions that may be sincere but can burn through the screen like molten lava? What to do with the bevy of comments left to make sure you “keep your chin up”, that they are “thinking of you” and whatever other trite phrase delivered in glitter loitering in cyberspace like floating bullets in a Matrix-like freeze frame. Makes one want to pownce directly into a gaping void.

As in the traditional break up there is always the division of “friends”. The Internet makes that division a blatantly public and often childish process. Do they “De-friend you?” Do you “De-friend” them? Who does what and how long until someone takes action? There is always that one first friend that is brave enough to make the friend switch. This person simply enjoys the new friendship more than the original friendship, yet inevitably puts themselves into the center of what may turn into a battle of loyalties, criticism and of course the unbearable insult of being De-friended (they also risk negative posts and g-d knows what from the slighted party). These friends that once felt Linkdin may experience the pain of being blocked, ignored or even… dare I say… spammed.

So as you sit there and ponder the thought “OMG” this could happen to me and your heart goes all a twitter, feeling like drinking a tumblr of whatever is readily available in the house, I ask you, what are the new rules governing this era of Internet everything? How should this go down and how can you emerge relatively unscathed from all the added remnants now gathering in the cloud? How does one go from being the couple of Web 2.0 to …Web no.0?”

I hereby offer a few initial suggestions and I am sure I will come up with many more, but I need to know what you, the tech-lover, thinks. Perhaps together we can come up with some basic framework for keeping our net presence intact as we navigate the treacherous on-line break up?

Rules of Disengagement for Internet-related break ups

1. Do not post a breakup blog explaining the gory details. Such things should be private, even in today’s voyeuristic world.

2. Removal of ex should be done gradually. i.e. they did not disappear from the face of the earth, just perhaps from your life or more visibly, your vlog. This should be adhered to in order to avoid the inevitable onslaught of queries about your separation. Do it for the other person, if not for yourself.

3. Do not post new pictures of yourself with an ex, a new whatever or overtly salacious images in an attempt to inflict additional pain on your ex (no mater how much you think you hate them).4. It is not recommended posting hourly, self-involved mood updates that will not only indulge the voyeurism of others, but cheapen the anguish you both feel. In a nutshell, don’t twit a twitter.

5. While sending angry emails/IM’s in the wake of your break up, do not digg yourself a hole you cannot climb out of. This means that words on a screen are forever. Permanent. Nothing is ever truly erased from the web. So pick your jabs wisely and don’t stumbleupon your own immature cruelty.

6. Do not badmouth your ex. You are an adult..

7. Avoid “tracking” your ex’s web activity. This can only lead to obsession and worse, web stalking.

8. Do not refer in any way to your suddenly, even remarkable renewed sex drive, virility, or promiscuity. This is so far beneath you as to be found somewhere deep in the Earth’s mantle.

9. Take a break from social media. We could all use one.

10. Eat, drink, be merry and do not let the bad experience disillusion you as to the viability of another Web-based relationship – we all benefit from social media, both platonic-socially, and if we are careful and a bit lucky, we may fall for another Tech-god again, with markedly better results.

Written in collaboration with Michelle Oshen

Posted in blog, humor, life, love, relationships, thoughts, writing Tagged: blog, break ups, humor, internet, list, relationships, rules, stumbleupon, twitter, writing

Blogger appreciation day.

veronicaromm — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:33:09 +0000

I thought it was time to show some love and appreciation to some of the wonderful people (and their blogs) whom I have met this past year on-line. This is a list of diverse sites and authors, each so unique and creative. I would highly recommend stopping by their sites, I believe there is something for everyone . In no particular order let me acknowledge some fellow bloggers and friends. Thank you all.

Zestycook by Cory

Billy the blogging poet

The year of the chick by Romi

Robert’s Linknotes (rjj on SU)

Midlife Bachelor by Greg

The happiest blog on earth by Terence

Posted in authors, blog, people, poetry, relationships, thoughts, web blog, writing Tagged: bloggers, blogs, food blog, people, poetry, writing

With open eyes.

veronicaromm — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 19:27:00 +0000

May it be a holiday.

New Year’s Eve or your Birthday.

Halloween, Mother’s Day or graduation.

All of them deserve a celebration.

Dress up in a beaded gown.

A tailored suit won’t let you down.

Wear the colors of the season.

Some days you don’t need a reason.

Any day can be a joyous surprise .

Once you open up your eyes.

Posted in blog, love, poetry, relationships, thoughts, web blog, writing Tagged: happiness, love, poetry, relationships, web blog, writing

Duet

veronicaromm — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 15:32:58 +0000

Blowing Back Her Kisses
If I could write for her a symphony

would it stand the test of time?

If I wrote for her the perfect poem

would it have the perfect rhyme?

Would I come to miss her tender kiss

if she blew each kiss my way?

And if I were to run to her

would she hope that I would stay?

My Response

If I wrote the perfect words.

And said the perfect things?

Would they make him stop writing these,

and all the joy they bring?

Could I ever speak a thoughtless phrase,

and risk hurting him dear?

Am I worthy of the compliments?

This is my only fear.

Posted in authors, blog, people, poetry, relationships, thoughts, web blog, writing Tagged: people, poetry, relationships, web blog, writing

The Colors of Love.

veronicaromm — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 16:08:35 +0000

The fresh green of the grass.

Your touch on my skin.

Our limbs entwined on the park lawn

as the breeze blows around us.

Hearts are dancing again.

The crisp blue of the water.

Your touch on my skin.

Waves crashing around us.

It is love we’ve been granted and

We have both given in.

The leaves falling yellow, orange, and red.

Wanting your touch on my skin.

I am chilled, dry to the bone,

Where have you been?

The red roaring fire.

Feeling your touch on my skin.

Snow falling outside the window

while you’re keeping me warm,

Yet now only in this dream.

Posted in blog, poetry, relationships, writing Tagged: poetry, relationships, thoughts, web blog

Don’t I know you?

veronicaromm — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 10:02:38 +0000

I stumbled through a page today,
And found a friend along the way.
A simple hello and nice to meet you,
Followed by sharing a picture or two.
We noticed the hats right from the start
It may have helped her in standing apart.
From all over the world I meet great artists and minds.
Yet something told me we were two of a kind.
The oddest things came quickly to light.
Our lives would reveal a similar plight.
Instantly there was a comfort there.
I found that with her I am able to share.
No fear of judgment provides a space.
I need to have in order to trace.
The path that I’ve wandered that got me here
Those personal stories I can share without fear
Together I see something greater than two.
A friendship that helps both of us make it through.

Posted in blog, chemistry, friendships, happiness, life, people, personal, poetry, relationships, trust, women, writing Tagged: friendship, poetry, web blog, writing

Thank you note: Goodbye Spencer RIP

veronicaromm — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 07:10:03 +0000

I wrote this poem for my best friend Spencer Parris, today I learned that he was shot to death on July 17. I had been calling and looking for him, I finally wrote an email and learned this . It is not true, and he was killed by a trigger happy intoxicated cop. I am in shock, utter and total complete shock, and I want my friend back, and I am posting this because I wrote it to my friend and I will never see him again.

Thank you note: Jan 13 2008 original post

You’re like the brother I never had,

The friend I’ve always needed.

My truth when I need a jolt of reality,

Unfortunately, not always heeded.

Your honesty is never lost on me

I marvel at your generosity.

I learn from you, laugh with you, and argue with you.

You listen to me, laugh at me, and keep me true.

I wanted to share these things, before life interfered inevitably.

As life always does, in ways we may not be able to foresee.

So Friend, let me take this moment to recognize you.

My friend, brother and more, I just wanted to say

“Thank You.”

You and I?

veronicaromm — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 01:19:23 +0000

To and fro

Here and there.

You and me,

An unlikely pair.

Borrowing moments

Or minutes or days.

Focused blindly

We live in a haze.

Are we mere mortals

Ready to share?

To expose our hearts

By becoming a pair?

“What can be worse than the total agony of being in love?”

veronicaromm — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 07:53:00 +0000

In the spirit of the holiday season…

“What can be worse than the total agony of being in love?”As spoken by an eleven year old from a line in the film, Love Actually. If you pause for one second and think about it, isn’t love the absolute worst thing ever? I mean it is sheer torture yet it is vital and what we all live for ultimately. Some say it’s not Love but Sex that we do all the work for i.e. Sigmund Freud, but I don’t think he had that one quite figured out.

The absence of love can create the most distressing feelings inside. Sadness, loneliness, the shallow feeling of hating the couple walking hand in hand in front of you on the street. What a nightmare. Yet when in love that couple barely exists for the focus is not on them, but on your own hand in that of your loved ones. Total nonsense I think, turns us into absolute jerks doesn’t it?What is it about love that can have you raging in anger and reeling from joy in the matter of minutes? How is it that we, seemingly rational human beings allow ourselves such beastly behavior? I know its chemical and I know we can’t help it, but why do we put ourselves through it time and again?

Why do we let love in, and then let it ravage us so completely often leaving us in tatters and destroyed? Then as time passes we consciously (or not) do it all over again, risking the same awful result? As adults are we not to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them. When we touch the super hot radiator, don’t we actively avoid it so as not to burn again?

What makes love different? I want to know what you think. I am clearly at a loss because I am responsible for the horrid behavior I speak of. Please share your thoughts with me. Maybe together we can solve this Love thing once and for all? Highly unlikely but worth a shot, no?

End Quote

” Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”

Albert Einstein

Ode to Edie: Andy’s Superstar

veronicaromm — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:21:00 +0000

One from the Archives

Mayflower girl surrounded by sins.
East coast blue blood coursing through her veins.
Santa Barbara born, raised in the bins,
Escaped to New York to ease her pains.

Poor little rich girl, embraced by the crowd.
She’s danced like a goddess
And the maker was proud.

Watching as she groped for love and affection.
Welcoming her with his arms open wide. She couldn’t
Much help it when “It” garnered attention.

He liked all the money and elite cache.
Edie and Andy sounded right, kindred spirits,
With each other to play.

Yet times were quickly changing,
As she was led into the dark.
She looked in the mirror; scarred and ravaged
How did she lose that brilliant spark?

Girl on fire rescued from the flame.
At the Chelsea hotel alone, how far
She had plunged from her fifteen minutes of fame.

Andy created his masterpiece with care.
Then watched as the pieces fell one by one,
Dominoes falling in unison to the sound of despair.

The day she died was just another day.
He pretended and postured, but the truth was in the end
He claimed be barely knew his fragile protégé.

My Peace

veronicaromm — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 18:31:02 +0000

The elusive quest quiet at times, riotous
others, seems ceaseless.
I search for it, I think about it trying to
understand its true meaning.
I shudder when I think I might not get there,
reach it, know it or like it.
It is a word used often, usually in the same breath
as, war, politics and death.
I write and it gets closer, we are intimate, I feel
clear and it familiar.
It taunts but seems to relent as I embrace it,
recognizing it with admiration.
It is fleeting, and so the trance subsides,
leaving warmth and hope.
One step closer to attaining my peace,
allowing it to attain me.
a reunion. For once at birth,
we were acquainted, now like old friends,
we share a moment and it’s gone.

The video Who Knew? by Pink

veronicaromm — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 02:01:10 +0000

I listened to this song all last summer so I know it influenced the naming of this blog. For that I pay tribute to Inspiration. Thank you Pink

Our Teens are Running Wild

veronicaromm — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 18:44:35 +0000

The problem is not new, nor should it be fodder for gossip. Today’s teens are simply running wild. They are greater risk takers, more sexually active and overly informed than any teenage population that came before. From MTV pimping over the top Sweet Sixteen celebrations, as voyeuristic glances into the tiny percentage of the population that can afford to have Usher at their parties. To “reality dating” shows modeling behaviors that are breeding at risk teens and young adults, by promoting excessive drinking and providing hot tubs as an option for each date. The media and the freely accessibile internet access colludes with the corruption of our teenage children. Yet, it is as if we forget that the main responisibility for what our teens do falls squarely on parents for no other influence is as great and as influential as that of family.Web 2.0 and “social networking” are a much more effective means of communication utilized feverishly by adolescents. Advancements such as video chats, give adolescent the more private forum to “explore” with various behaviors and cultures, alternate lifestyles and some really out there “freakish” things we as adults can’t even grasp. There are now translators for the slang used by kids to “text message” one another. Yes the illiterate language devised to further stunt any thinking that might be needed to right in full sentences. Do we want our kids paralyzed by gadgets? Do we want our kids informed by those that have the freedom to express absolutely any view they wish and with pictures and video to make it more entertaining, such as the site The Church of Euthanasia. As a teacher and writer I use the internet to a almost embarassing degree for both information gathering and inspiration for my writing efforts. I Googled euthanasia for a student who was assigned the topic as a final paper in her English class. This essay was to be a persuasive argument for or against the controversial practice. About five to seven links down the results of the search was the link to the church that I mentioned. Clicking on the site I gasped and shook with anxiety as I finally understood what we (parents, teachers, kids) were up against. The site promotes among other things, death in all forms, sodomy an suicide. So there I was doing what my students were by researching the topic, and there it was, like any other site. Organized (not well) just enough to have their information viewed and their “Four Pillars” defined. I will not share the ideas espoused by this website, but you should take a look sometime and see what your kids read for their school projects.

Then there is the inevitable Hollywood influence. Our kids love music and movies just like we did. Yet they are getting to hear about and watch the pop idols they worship live the most reckless and dangerous of lives. Pregnant Disney TV show stars, the network is probably scrambling to find a way to separate themselves from the shamed star of their show “Zoey 101″ as we learn that young Jamie Lynn Spears may have been having an “affair” with an older executive. Wholesome teenage fun for the whole family, right? The media is stoning Lynne Spears, and yes her daughters are particularly frightening, but is she to blame?

The Megan Meier’s story is particularly disturbing and has all the elements that are facilitating an adolescent epidemic of risk taking and poor judgment. To quickly sum up the Megan Meier’s story is difficult for there are many layers. It involves female friendships, parenting skills, MySpace, boys and very irresponsible adults. Megan apparently had a falling out with her close friend and neighbor and this neighbors Mom Lori Drew was concerned that Megan was going to say indecent things about her daughter. She quickly created a MySpace profile of a young handsome boy she named Josh Evans from a neighboring town, and started communicating with Megan in a flirtatious way. Megan had been dealing with self esteem issues along with every other adolescent, and found the attention of the young man exciting. He was cute and sweet and could really understand her. He told her she was pretty and wanted to be her boyfriend. She had no reason to think anything else was happening. Three weeks into the internet relationship, he turned on Megan and said she was not the kind of person he wanted to associate with due to things he heard from kids at her school. She responded with shock, tears and hanging herself with a belt as her parents got ready for dinner downstairs. It was quickly disclosed that the boy with whom Megan had bonded was really a collaborative effort of a family, initiated by the matriarch Mrs. Drew, and maintained by all. They explained that they started the profile on MySpace to protect their daughter from slanderous talk (never did Megan say a bad thing about her neighbor or anyone else). Since the rest of the neighborhood found out about the families twisted game, the Drews has complained of harassment on several occasions. To date there will be no charges found against the MySpace family hoax or any of the participants. A tragedy like this is unthinkable yet it is subtle, societal and scary.

If the teenagers seem frightening as they shoot up shopping malls during the holidays, is it possible to assume that the parents must have something to do with it? As the story of Megan illustrates the power of the internet on our young ones, it also shows parents as they set the example for their children. Taunting a young person for fun, causing pain and perpetuating deceit are lessons these parents clearly imparted to their own children. What do we do as members of society to protect our kids from such insidiousness?

There are several basic parenting principles that can have a positive impact on children. Use them, and perhaps we can gain back control just enough to produce citizens who we could be proud of. These basics are not “new age” and they are certainly not difficult to grasp, but do we care to save our kids? Perhaps we should try.

Boundaries are a necessity for kids. They want and need them and parents have to provide them. Without understanding their own boundaries and those of others, kids have no way to gauge their attitudes and behaviors. It is not as simple as saying something is good or bad, right or wrong, but why and in what scenario? Guiding adolescents by defining boundaries allows them to process social behavior and respond to it. Lynne Spears allowed her young daughter, underage and naïve to not only have an older boyfriend but to basically co-habitate with him. Some may say, “at least I know they are safe, they are home after all.” Yet the child was fourteen if the story is at all accurate, when she began dating this young man. If at fourteen this type of behavior is accepted then it stands to reason that two years into a relationship a pregancy wouldn’t be such a shock after all. There also appears no discussion about whether these young people had protection or used it, or what type and who provided it? Why is that not an important enough facet of the story to focus on? It could only help send the message that there are no guarantees and always that chance that even with protection, there are risks. Boundaries again play a part in this particular case because not only did Lynne not provide any, but there was also an older sister, incredibly troubled and ridiculously famous, shirking all decency in front of the entire world. Losing her children, behaving in a way that could only be seen as psychologically volatile, and big sister Britney Spears never knew a boundary she didn’t obscenely cross.

Teenagers need to learn through actions about consequences. They must know that an action may have a positive or negative reaction and this fact should come as no surprise by the time a kid is in their teens. There is plenty of argument about punishment, and I am not sure where I stand on this globally. Yet parents must define consequences for their children with consistency.

This brings me to the adolescent’s desperate need for consistency from their parents. They need to understand clearly what their actions will lead to every time. It seems as though parents are afraid to provide consistent consequences because they “feel bad” or it seems they fear their kid’s reactions. If parents allow kids to turn the tables and assume the position of authority, how can they be blamed for their inevitable transgressions? There are parents and there are children. Parents can not be mistaken for “friends”; they must never stop parenting in a consistent and committed fashion.

This brings us to commitment to our children and to parenting. This commitment I describe is a life long, full time job parent’s take on when they bring a child into this world. They must commit to setting boundaries, parenting with consistency and establishing consequences. They must enforce this on a daily basis without fail. Does this sound like a Herculean task? Perhaps it is at times and I by no means wish to imply that parenting in this era is easy or terrain that is well traveled. Yet the alternative, as we have so clearly been shown again and again in the tabloids, and stories of tragic lost kids doing unthinkable things almost daily by the media, can’t possibly be ignored. There has to be a better way to guide our youth, than by the examples I have shared. Without a doubt the answer is parents, parenting, and society’s willingness to see some changes in the way adolescents are perceived and accept them so as to help them.

There is hope for both the parents and our youth. I ask you then; will you make the commitment before that hope is extinguished? I think our kids are worth it. It is up to all of us to convince them of their worth, through guidance, patience and setting a reasonable example.

Sources sited:

www.ok-magazine.com Jamie Lynn Spears Says She’s Pregnant

Dec 18, 2007

www.nytimes.com/2007/12/16/fashion/16meangirls.html When the Bullies Turned Faceless by Christopher Maag. December 16, 2007
www.churchofeuthanasia.org

Can you Digg it?

veronicaromm — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:21:21 +0000

My friend Greg was kind enough to bestow this very generous endorsement of yours truly, If you use digg let’s help his great website and in the process you can read a more resume type bio of my schooling and work/life experience. So check it out. Thanks Greg and midlifebachelor for putting me in the company of some influential and well known woman from past months. It is an honor to be recognized and this is the first time for me in the Web 2.0 media.

http://digg.com/people/Woman_of_the_Month_March

First love, the sequel.

veronicaromm — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 02:17:14 +0000

First love is torturous. When it is also true love and presents itself at a very unfair age, it is a romance that will be tested… Who could possibly imagine that at seventeen, eighteen the high school boyfriend, the first love is the love? A love so strong and true it haunts her, always there in her heart and that place where nothing else will ever reside.

She lives and loves, enjoys fulfilling relationships with other people from various backgrounds who teach her the lessons she was meant to learn. Those loves can not be diminished for they help define the true love that is lost. With each bond extinguished the emptiness of the loss of him multiplies, grows when it should dim.

What if then he is once again there, wherever there may be? So close in proximity his presence is a constant tug on that place in her heart once she glimpses his face again. He is angry, still very angry, and again very angry. He says that she changed him, made him callous, and made him fear. The idea stabs her heart and that place where he still exists as he was, an idea that has been lost.

What if he is still that same boy who wants to free himself from fear and open up the place he says she destroyed? When he looks at her and the eyes, the eyes that haven’t changed the eyes she fell in love with, convey emotions that make that place in the heart tear a bit further, hemorrhage slowly.

She sees in those eyes the only man she ever met who she would want to be the Daddy. She sees in those eyes, in utter disbelief the man she has never let go. The one she would tell her best girlfriends about late nights, tears streaming down their cheeks, for the friend always believed too.

What if there is no chance he will ever trust her, ever let him get to know her as she is now? Never letting her show him how he loved her, how he taught her to love and because of fear and anger, lock away that place in his heart that only she had been given. Locked in a safe with the combination a faint memory.

All he sees when she looks in his wondrous eyes is the one that caused pain she cannot ever understand. He only wants to turn his back on her, walk away; speed away for it is dangerous to not speed full throttle out of her midst.

What if he goes against all that he thought he knew and lets her in? What if he takes the supreme chance and lets a love he can’t deny still exists, enter his life? What a chance he would be taking. He was once a gambling man but the odds, are hardly worth it? Or maybe the only risk worth taking?

What if he lets her in and she can put her guard down just long enough to show him how much love she has to offer him? What if they are as they should be perhaps, if things like that happen? Can they happen? Would he take that chance because he is like her and can’t deny that they are the most real he will ever be?

What if he never lets her in and wonders always if maybe she was who she claimed she was, the one that he loves just as she loves him? How will she stop the bleeding of her heart? How will he live knowing that she bleeds for him? With steely resolve? With regret and resentment?

What if they live happily ever after?

Blood promises

veronicaromm — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 06:26:41 +0000

Talking the talk
Closing the door
Listening without hearing
Hearing without caring
Parallel lives intersected by blood
Connected by the false
Holding on to the vine
As it bleeds through the soul
Stabbing violently with words not spoken
Thoughts betrayed for lack of promise, false
Promises.

The Path to Fate.

veronicaromm — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 20:03:10 +0000

Did the Gods always know what we are just learning now?

It seems quite implausible, yet they must have somehow.

For years there were flashes and glimpses of your face, your eyes, and smile so sure.

Unaware each time that I had been dreaming of you,

disguised each time by a light bright and pure.

I believe that I dreamt of you before the first time we met.

As a small child you came to me often in slumber

making sure I would never forget.

Some say that souls travel through this life and next searching for the other.

Across space, time, distance and fate they must be joined together.

Once they do, like magic it’s instant!

Recognizing the one they have traveled to meet.

The other awaits with open arms extended, there, to lovingly greet.

Knowing they are the one they have waited to hold close and near.

Their spirits embrace as they shed doubts and fears.

Fate had it all planned, with the story written and lovers divined.

A game for the Gods, watching them search until they allow them to find.

That elusive piece to the puzzle, two halves of a whole.

The prize is the lovers bound by the soul.

That magnetic connection, the peace they each crave.

Across space, time, distance and fate they forged ahead both gallant and brave.

And hearts that were weighted with sagas of pain each had to bare.

Yet now they are one, a force to behold, to the future they dare.