A guys guide for gift giving and card signing for the holidays.

This guide is for everyone, whether in a new relationship or an established one.

1.  Just met, you like her but it’s very new.

The gift:

Get something you know she likes from a shop you know she goes to.  You are not expected at this phase to buy “the perfect” gift, just one that shows you have at least been paying a little attention.   Also if you get it wrong she can return it and get something she likes better at her favorite shop.  You must get a card, something cute and funny will do.

The message:

A simple “Wishing you a happy fill in the holiday.”

Signing the card:

I am (so) _______ (glad) we met, Bob

Looking forward to getting to know you better, Bob

Hugs and kisses, Bob

2.  New relationship 3-6 months, you are exclusive (you really like her)

The gift:

This gift should show some thought, because it is probably the first fill in the holiday you are spending together.  Again, pay attention to things she sees or mentions while you are shopping or ask one of her friends if you have access to them.  It may be an accessory item, a handbag, scarf or silver jewelry with a stone or charm she likes or has special meaning to her. She will really think it sweet if you remember something she mentioned or saw while you were together. If all else fails these are the gifts that most women would like this season:

- Princess perfume by Vera Wang, classy and you will like it too. – Pretty necklaces and bracelets  with semi-precious stones are totally in style and ones with a message that is personal to you/her is thoughtful. Sold in many mall shops.

- A spa/massage treatment is always a great gift, thoughtful and shows you care how hard she works. Popular spa’s are Bliss Spa, Sephora, Ulta offer spa treatments.    Look up local spa’s they usually run specials for Valentine’s Day.

- Victoria’s Secret is a favorite but you can get more creative than that, right guys?

The message:
- Write at least a paragraph about how you feel about her, how she makes you feel or whatever you are feeling at the time.
- This is the time to be vulnerable but if you are not ready to say “Love” you don’t have to.

Signing the card:

You mean so much to me, Bob

So glad to be spending this fill in the holiday with you, Bob

Looking forward to more happy times with you, Bob

You are in my heart today and everyday, Bob

3.  6-12 months, you are either in love, falling in love or already declared your love.

The gift:
- A weekend getaway is ideal. Bed and Breakfasts, Hotels and Ski Resorts have last-minute deals, but there is nothing like pre-planning.
- Pamper her with a romantic dinner and run a tub or hot tub if you can arrange it. Bring flowers and candy too, it decorates the room and makes it special. - Maybe a CD of music for a romantic evening. This is the perfect time to seal the deal guys; it’s fill in the holiday and BECAUSE it is corny and cheesy tell her you love her. Secretly we love cheesy and sappy during the holidays if we are in love.

- Jewelry is a safe bet here.

- Also you can bridge the “I am falling in love with you,” if you have not reached it just yet, (or if you are a wimp because nobody “thinks” they feel love for someone, this is one you KNOW.) but whatever, go at your own pace.

The message:
Spill it. You love this woman and you want to keep her indefinitely. A full paragraph with your heart racing with nervousness is what I am talking about. Trust me, the pay off will be worth it. If this is where you are with a woman showing it during the holidays is the only way to go. Even if she says she doesn’t care, DO NOT LISTEN. Just say it, most of us are not Shakespeare, women know, they don’t care how you say it, just that you do, and in this case write it too.

Signing the card:

All my love, Bob

Love you, Bob (playful)

I love you with all my heart, Bob (serious)

Oh I forgot, I wanted to tell you that I love you, Bob

I love you and want you to be my wife, Bob (Just in case)

Whatever you do this fill in the holiday with your new babe or your fiancé, have fun, laugh as much as you can, and let love in.  Try not to let the stress that always seems to accompany the big days get in the way of your enjoyment.  Remember, many fights around this time are due to circumstances beyond your control: i.e. planning, travelling, and just the anticipation that the holidays will work out perfect.  This is not the case and is quite rare, so be prepared for some hairy moments and always try to keep a sense of humor.

Please feel free to ask questions if there is something I missed and/or you have a unique situation that does not fit into these three headings.  I will be glad to help you get this fill in the holiday right.

Check out another take on  gift giving during our troubled economic times here.  A lot of great info to be found there.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

 

I got your back.

 

I got your back.

You’ve got mine.

Don’t listen to the haters,

We’re doing just fine.

Voices, looks

And exaggeration.

What they say means nothing,

Just causes needless aggravation.

Believe in you and me.

Now is what we have,

No one can tell us

What it ought to be.

Our only concern

Should be loving each other.

Enjoying the gift

Of the love of another.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

 

About a Friend

From the archives:
This is the most popular of all my poems for the past year so here once again About a Friend.

Yes this is personal and yes it is true.
It is my experience that I am sharing with you.

We were so close like sisters people said.
Closer than that we were, it was over your head.

A bond that sparked instantaneously much like new romance.
Of course those that insinuated such did not follow the dance.

Give give, take take, it all seemed so equal at first.
No shadow of doubt, we would never be cursed.

Hours and days were spent sharing the past.
The laughter and tears were flowing and vast.

Each told of old sorrows and pain we had endured.
Consoling each other, we were each others cure.

We had found one another, knew it was different this time.
The ying to her yang, the partner to our crime.

We turned heads and made people wonder.
Quite a few tried to quiet the thunder.

This gave us our strength, like forces of nature together.
She and I against the world, no storm we couldn’t weather.

Life would charge in and test our power.
Tempted and taunted to see who would cower.

We prevailed time after time, year after year.
We drew lines for others that were perfectly clear.

Then one day it happened, the first of the clues.
A weakness exposed and a hint of a ruse.

“Not us I thought, this was not our path.”
Rips in the fabric, hidden agendas, you do the math.

And with just as much power as we united.
Truth had snuck in though reluctant and uninvited.

The face I began to recognize was that of a stranger.
I saw it clearly and knew of the danger.

I had heard the voice before and I remember I had shuddered.
Those combative words thrust at me she had finally uttered.

The loss was tremendous the grief devastating.
I now understood the line between loving and hating.

I missed her so, wishing for a branch or simply a leaf.
Yet not until I let her go was their any relief.

Why today of all days to write this for all to see?
Perhaps, maybe it means I can at last be free.

Copyright ©2007 Veronica Romm

 

The long distance kiss.

She blew him a kiss
It was shaped like her lips
He caught it with pride
For it had made quite a trip.

Over the cities
And the great sea.
A wondrous voyage
It had turned out to be.

So once it arrived
It was placed with great care
On the forehead belonging
To a most royal heir.

He smiled as he felt it
Rush through his veins.
This kiss that brought with it
The cure for his pains.

Copyright ©2007 Veronica Romm

 

Anger unmanaged

anger and fear, rage, hatred, revolting.
in one second sparks ignite nothing in its trajectory  safe.
words sputter through clenched teeth, raised voices, prickly tongues.
jabs, slices, punches  inflicting maximum pain.
no rational thought, respect, or love.
deeply planted wounds seep with fresh blood.
a storm so out of control demanding attention.
no cure once blinded by the rush.
it spins through each cell and fiber.
hoping, trying to regain control as the venom attacks the soul.
breathing steadies, pulse no longer blaring.
around, tossed in the rubble is the evidence the damage done.
despicable words spoken replay on the tape.
left standing amidst intolerable shame.

Copyright ©2009 Veronica Romm