Yes this is personal and yes it is true.
It is my experience that I am sharing with you.

We were so close like sisters people said.
Closer than that we were, it was over your head.

A bond that sparked instantaneously much like new romance.
Of course those that insinuated such did not follow the dance.

Give give, take take, it all seemed so equal at first.
No shadow of doubt, we would never be cursed.

Hours and days were spent sharing the past.
The laughter and tears were flowing and vast.

Each told of old sorrows and pain we had endured.
Consoling each other, we were each others cure.

We had found one another, knew it was different this time.
The ying to her yang, the partner to our crime.

We turned heads and made people wonder.
Quite a few tried to quiet the thunder.

This gave us our strength, like forces of nature together.
She and I against the world, no storm we couldn’t weather.

Life would charge in and test our power.
Tempted and taunted to see who would cower.

We prevailed time after time, year after year.
We drew lines for others that were perfectly clear.

Then one day it happened, the first of the clues.
A weakness exposed and a hint of a ruse.

“Not us I thought, this was not our path.”
Rips in the fabric, hidden agendas, you do the math.

And with just as much power as we united.
Truth had snuck in though reluctant and uninvited.

The face I began to recognize was that of a stranger.
I saw it clearly and knew of the danger.

I had heard the voice before and I remember I had shuddered.
Those combative words thrust at me she had finally uttered.

The loss was tremendous the grief devastating.
I now understood the line between loving and hating.

I missed her so, wishing for a branch or simply a leaf.
Yet not until I let her go was their any relief.

Why today of all days to write this for all to see?
Perhaps, maybe it means I can at last be free.

Copyright ©2007 Veronica Romm

Humor is so important to survival. Laughter is actually good for you and those that can find ways to maintain both are lucky when it comes to dealing with life’s many difficulties. It’s importance has been a topic of much discussion and many of the greatest minds both comedic and otherwise have had much to say about it. Here are some choice quotes I found today and wanted to share. Please add your own favorite quotes in the comments if you are so inclined.

• Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist. ~George Burns

• I try to offset any tendency towards the macabre with humor. As I see it, this is a typically English form of humor. It’s a piece with such jokes as the one about the man who was being led to the gallows to be hanged. He looked at the trap door in the gallows, which was flimsily constructed, and he asked in some alarm, ‘I say, is that thing safe?’ ~Alfred Hitchcock

• A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

• Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. ~Mark Twain

• Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.~Peter Ustinov

• There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.~Will Rogers

• “Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.” ~Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat

• “I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.” ~e e cummings

• “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” ~Oscar Wilde

• “God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.~ Voltaire

From the archives and for new friends:

We have all been through a breakup and felt the inevitable pangs of pain, surges of tears and very real mourning period following the end of a relationship.  In today’s world, where social networking and social media can be a significant part of many of our lives, old fashioned heartbreak can be compounded by the “Internet breakup”.

Breaking up with someone with whom you shared your likes and dislikes, sent xoxo’s and matched compatibility quiz results with on sites such as Facebook, MySpace, and of course the uber-popular Youtube, along with the many other social networks brings forth an entirely new set of issues.  For instance, how long does one wait to remove from one’s page the comments, photos, and “gifts” (sent while in the often delusional. blissful cloud of love) that stare back and now haunt you? This person was your No. 1 spot in your top friends for heavens sake! What is one to do?

Once these are removed and the STATUS in the profile changes from any of the oh-so-charming descriptions ranging from “it’s complicated” or “in committed relationship” to “single”, what is the proper etiquette for well wishers and others who will invariably ask how you are coping, what happened and other questions that may be sincere but can burn through the screen like molten lava?  What to do with the bevy of comments left to make sure you “keep your chin up”, that they are “thinking of you” and whatever other trite phrase  delivered in glitter loitering in cyberspace like floating bullets in a Matrix-like freeze frame. Makes one want to pownce directly into a gaping void.

As in the traditional break up there is always the division of “friends”.  The Internet makes that division a blatantly public and often childish process.  Do they “De-friend you?”  Do you “De-friend” them?  Who does what and how long until someone takes action?  There is always that one first friend that is brave enough to make the friend switch. This person simply enjoys the new friendship more than the original friendship, yet inevitably puts themselves into the center of what may turn into a battle of loyalties, criticism and of course the unbearable insult of being De-friended (they also risk negative posts and g-d knows what from the slighted party).  These friends that once felt Linkdin may experience the pain of being blocked, ignored or even… dare I say… spammed.

So as you sit there and ponder the thought “OMG” this could happen to me and your heart goes all a twitter, feeling like drinking a tumblr of whatever is readily available in the house, I ask you, what are the new rules governing this era of Internet everything? How should this go down and how can you emerge relatively unscathed from all the added remnants now gathering in the cloud? How does one go from being the couple of Web 2.0 to …Web no.0?”

I hereby offer a few initial suggestions and I am sure I will come up with many more, but I need to know what you, the tech-lover, thinks.  Perhaps together we can come up with some basic framework for keeping our net presence intact as we navigate the treacherous on-line break up?

Rules of Disengagement for Internet-related break ups

1. Do not post a breakup blog explaining the gory details.  Such things should be private, even in today’s voyeuristic world.

2. Removal of ex should be done gradually. i.e. they did not disappear from the face of the earth, just perhaps from your life or more visibly, your vlog.  This should be adhered to in order to avoid the inevitable onslaught of queries about your separation. Do it for the other person, if not for yourself.

3. Do not post new pictures of yourself with an ex, a new whatever or overtly salacious images in an attempt to inflict additional pain on your ex (no mater how much you think you hate them).4. It is not recommended posting hourly, self-involved mood updates that will not only indulge the voyeurism of others, but cheapen the anguish you both feel. In a nutshell, don’t twit a twitter.

5. While sending angry emails/IM’s in the wake of your break up, do not digg yourself a hole you cannot climb out of.  This means that words on a screen are forever. Permanent. Nothing is ever truly erased from the web.  So pick your jabs wisely and don’t stumbleupon your own immature cruelty.

6. Do not badmouth your ex. You are an adult..

7. Avoid “tracking” your ex’s web activity. This can only lead to obsession and worse, web stalking.

8. Do not refer in any way to your suddenly, even remarkable renewed sex drive, virility, or promiscuity. This is so far beneath you as to be found somewhere deep in the Earth’s mantle.

9. Take a break from social media. We could all use one.

10. Eat, drink, be merry and do not let the bad experience disillusion you as to the viability of another Web-based relationship – we all benefit from social media, both platonic-socially, and if we are careful and a bit lucky, we may fall for another Tech-god  again, with markedly better results.

Written in collaboration with Michelle Oshen

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

The fresh green of the grass.

Your touch on my skin.

Our limbs entwined on the park lawn

as the breeze blows around us.

Hearts are dancing again.

The crisp blue of the water.

Your touch on my skin.

Waves crashing around us.

It is love we’ve been granted and

We have both given in.

The leaves falling yellow, orange, and red.

Wanting your touch on my skin.

I am chilled, dry to the bone,

Where have you been?

The red roaring fire.

Feeling your touch on my skin.

Snow falling outside the window

while you’re keeping me warm,

Yet now only in this dream.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

Repost 2010

In honor of Hanukkah here is Adam Sandler’s third version of the Hanukkah song. I remember the first time I heard the original song, and laughing so much. Also Hanukkah is one of the only words that rhymes with Veronica, which made me feel quite special.  It has become somewhat of a theme song for the holiday and I love that Adam Sandler had the talent to make it so.  Enjoy the latest version, it does not disappoint.

Adam Sandler – Chanukah Song Part 3 (HQ)

Copyright ©2009 Veronica Romm

A look, a touch

Come close, lean in

Inhale the scent.

Are your knees shaking?

Short of breath?

That is chemistry

Plain and simple.

Copyright ©2010 Veronica Romm

Who Knew? by Veronica Romm

Who knew knowledge could be sorrow?

Who knew our rights could be stripped away?

Who knew laws could never govern?

Who knew leaders could get lost?

Who knew identities could be stolen?

Who knew faces could be altered?

Who knew science could betray us?

Who knew history could be ignored?

Who knew evil could be taught?

Who knew heroes could be villains?

Who knew our neighbors could be saints?

Who knew sinners could be teachers?

Who knew clothes could make the man?

Who knew possessions could be priceless?

Who knew wealth could be so hungry?

Who knew money could buy power?

Who knew fame could be an illness?

Who knew words could soon be censored?

Who knew hate could turn to love?

Who knew our bodies could betray us?

Who knew hearts could really break?

Who knew laughter could be medicine?

Who knew our children could be cruel?

Who knew man could choose a bomb?

Who knew mothers could kill their babies?

Who knew sisters could be strangers?

Who knew our sons could die at war?

Who knew pain could be a business?

Who knew pleasure could lead to death?

Who knew friends could turn against us?

Who knew memories could fade so quickly?

Who knew lovers could be untrue?

Who knew time could heal all wounds?

Who knew questions could be left unanswered?

Copyright ©2007 Veronica Romm

Reposted 8/14/10

The Veteran’s Day Classic:

Since it is Veteran’s Day  Nov. 11, this post seems to be getting very popular again. I love the story behind the image as much as I like the image. A powerful moment captured on film, timeless and timely.

Glenn Edward McDuffie knows why the sailor kissing a white-clad nurse in that famous photo has his wrist bent back in an awkward position. Taken August 14, 1945 in New York City’s Times Square moments after the crowd there heard World War II had ended, that photo has epitomized the jubilant mood of a nation who had won our hard fought victory. Glenn knows why that sailor has his wrist twisted because he is that sailor. Glenn had come to New York after coming off the SS Alexander Lillinton with Jack Holmes (from Pittsburg), the sailor in the dark uniform seen laughing in that same photo. Glenn also knows the sailor in the white uniform’s name is Bob Little from Buffalo, New York since he also served on the same ship.

Now ready to turn 80 this August 3rd, Glenn wants to celebrate the 62nd anniversary of his kiss of an overjoyed nurse by setting the record straight. Though numerous would-be kissing sailors have tried to lay claim to being the man in the photo, none know what Glenn McDuffie knows because they are not the man in the photo. Glenn not only knows the names and home towns of the only other sailors seen in the photo. He knows why the sailor smooching the nurse has his hand in such an unnatural position. Glenn tells it like this,

“I rode the subway into Times Square, got off, and when I walked up the stairs, a woman at the top said she was so happy for me. I ask hey ‘Why?’ and she said ‘the war is over, you can go home now!’ I was so excited I started jumping up and down and hollering because my oldest brother was a Japanese prisoner of war. He was there when the Philippines fell. Then this nurse held out her arms and I just looked up because I thought we were going to get run over. When I saw it was a photographer, I bent my hand back so you could see the lady’s face…”

Glenn McDuffie’s chivalrous act is the only explanation that makes sense when one views the photo. Not only does Glenn know why the strange hand position and the names of every sailor in the photo, he is the only man claiming to be the “kissing sailor” who has taken and passed a lie detector test on that subject. In fact, Glenn has passed 10 polygraph examinations proving his claims of being the man in the photo are truthful. In September 1980, he took two polygraph examinations administered by Smiths Security Agency for ABC Channel 13 (Houston, TX) at the behest of reporters John Davenport and Marvin Zindler. On February 14, 1981, the took a series of five tests, all by different operators, for F. Lee Baily’s syndicated Lie Detector show. Finally, on August 13, 2005, David Raney, Houston’s premier polygraph expert tested Glenn, and he passed with flying colors. Raney has a large poster of the famous photo in this lobby, signed by the man he is certain is in the photo: Glenn McDuffie.

Glenn was shipboard in the middle of the Atlantic on August 27, 1945, when the photo of him and the nurse in a jubilant embrace came out in print for the elated American public. Glenn never saw it till years later. During the summer of 1945 he was more worried about whether his brother, Willie Durant McDuffie, would be liberated from the Japanese. Over the years, McDuffie has tolerated men who did not know the names of the other sailors in the photo and who did not pass, or even agree to offers, of lie detector tests, making frivolous claims they were the man in the photo. None of these men even mention the chivalrous bended hand to show the nurse’s face. This plausible reason for the pose proves his first hand experience that day.

The only man who knows everything about the photo is a hero who fought for our country and deserves his due. The young nurse held out her arms right after hearing the war was won and Glenn McDuffie delivered a passionate kiss, chivalrously twisting his hand to show a photographer her face. This country owes Glenn some chivalry now.

Original post. Romance it dead.

This photo is not as romantic as you think… On August 14, 1945 the news of Japan’s surrender was announced in the United States, signaling the end of World War II. Riotous celebrations erupted in the streets, but perhaps none were more relieved than those in uniform. Although many of them had recently returned from victory in Europe, they faced the prospect of having to ship out yet again, this time to the bloody Pacific.

Among the overjoyed masses gathered in Times Square that day was one of the most talented photojournalists of the 20th century, a German immigrant named Alfred Eisenstaedt. While snapping pictures of the celebration, he spotted a sailor “running along the street grabbing any and every girl in sight.” He later explained that, “whether she was a grandmother, stout, thin, old, didn’t make any difference.”  Of course, a photo of the sailor planting a wet one on a senior citizen wouldn’t have made the cover of Life, but when he locked lips with an attractive nurse, the image was circulated in newspapers across the country. Needless to say, “V-J Day” didn’t capture a highly anticipated embrace by long-lost lovers, but it also wasn’t staged, as many critics have claimed. In any case, the image remains an enduring symbol of America’s exuberance at the end of a long struggle.

Fun on the Jersey Shore

The weather was phenomenal and the the waves were big and amazing.  The water temp. was perfect sun was shining…a perfect day really.   I love going out and diving into waves.  There is a rhythm to it and it is a phenomenal workout.  Today I feel like I worked every muscle and I love that feeling of not really knowing or feeling you are working out because it is so exhilarating yet getting a kick ass workout.

The down side of a day in the rough sea is that I got water in my ear.  One of the waves I must admit pummeled my left side as I tried to outsmart it.

I have always been a strong swimmer but PARENTS teach your kids to swim, because the ocean is unpredictable and powerful.  I respect it and it got my ear pretty good yesterday. (That was my PSA for safe ocean fun)

After the beach we went to La Dolce Vita Restaurant in Belmar NJ  the town adjacent to Spring Lake.

Belmar NJ Fishing Pier

The food was phenomenal.  I ordered the Mussels in White Wine sauce which were absolutely delightful.  The sauce was amazing for dipping bread (I could have drank it it was so good).  My entree was the Pistachio Crusted Chilean Sea bass with Mushroom Risotto which is on the regular menu and notoriously good.  It was that and more, perfectly cooked, and simply divine.  Then the four of us split one piece of the special peaches and cream pie.  It was the perfect end to a memorable meal.

A glorious day I will remember for time to come.

I am a lover of quotes.  I collect them and dole them out here depending on my mood.  So for today here are the quotes that make me feel like one human living my little life, just as everyone else.  Veronica

• Woody Allen

• Woody Allen

• George Burns

• Bill Cosby

I wrote this poem for my best friend Spencer Parris, today I learned that he was shot to death on July 17.  I had been calling and looking for him, I finally wrote an email and learned this .  It is not true, and he was killed by a trigger happy intoxicated cop.  I am in shock, utter and total complete shock, and I want my friend back, and I am posting this because I wrote it to my friend and I will never see him again.

Thank you note: Jan 13 2008 original post

You’re like the brother I never had,

The friend I’ve always needed.

My truth when I need a jolt of reality,

Unfortunately, not always heeded.

Your honesty is never lost on me

I marvel at your generosity.

I learn from you, laugh with you, and argue with you.

You listen to me, laugh at me, and keep me true.

I wanted to share these things, before life interfered inevitably.

As life always does, in ways we may not be able to foresee.

So Friend, let me take this moment to recognize you.

My friend, brother and more, I just wanted to say

“Thank You.”

Copyright ©2007 Veronica Romm

To and fro

Here and there.

You and me,

An unlikely pair.

Borrowing moments

Or minutes or days.

Focused blindly

We live in a haze.

Are we mere mortals

Ready to share?

To expose our hearts

By becoming a pair?

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

1.  Just met, you like her but it’s very new.

The gift:

Get something you know she likes from a shop you know she goes to.  You are not expected at this phase to buy “the perfect” gift, just one that shows you have at least been paying a little attention.   Also if you get it wrong she can return it and get something she likes better at her favorite shop.  You must get a card, something cute and funny will do.

The message:

A simple “Wishing you a happy fill in the holiday.”

Signing the card:

I am (so) _______ (glad) we met, Bob

Looking forward to getting to know you better, Bob

Hugs and kisses, Bob

2.  New relationship 3-6 months, you are exclusive (you really like her)

The gift:

This gift should show some thought, because it is probably the first fill in the holiday you are spending together.  Again, pay attention to things she sees or mentions while you are shopping or ask one of her friends if you have access to them.  It may be an accessory item, a handbag, scarf or silver jewelry with a stone or charm she likes or has special meaning to her. She will really think it sweet if you remember something she mentioned or saw while you were together. If all else fails these are the gifts that most women would like this season:

- Princess perfume by Vera Wang, classy and you will like it too. – Pretty necklaces and bracelets  with semi-precious stones are totally in style and ones with a message that is personal to you/her is thoughtful. Sold in many mall shops.

- A spa/massage treatment is always a great gift, thoughtful and shows you care how hard she works. Popular spa’s are Bliss Spa, Sephora, Ulta offer spa treatments.    Look up local spa’s they usually run specials for Valentine’s Day.

- Victoria’s Secret is a favorite but you can get more creative than that, right guys?

The message:
- Write at least a paragraph about how you feel about her, how she makes you feel or whatever you are feeling at the time.
- This is the time to be vulnerable but if you are not ready to say “Love” you don’t have to.

Signing the card:

You mean so much to me, Bob

So glad to be spending this fill in the holiday with you, Bob

Looking forward to more happy times with you, Bob

You are in my heart today and everyday, Bob

3.  6-12 months, you are either in love, falling in love or already declared your love.

The gift:
- A weekend getaway is ideal. Bed and Breakfasts, Hotels and Ski Resorts have last-minute deals, but there is nothing like pre-planning.
- Pamper her with a romantic dinner and run a tub or hot tub if you can arrange it. Bring flowers and candy too, it decorates the room and makes it special. - Maybe a CD of music for a romantic evening. This is the perfect time to seal the deal guys; it’s fill in the holiday and BECAUSE it is corny and cheesy tell her you love her. Secretly we love cheesy and sappy during the holidays if we are in love.

- Jewelry is a safe bet here.

- Also you can bridge the “I am falling in love with you,” if you have not reached it just yet, (or if you are a wimp because nobody “thinks” they feel love for someone, this is one you KNOW.) but whatever, go at your own pace.

The message:
Spill it. You love this woman and you want to keep her indefinitely. A full paragraph with your heart racing with nervousness is what I am talking about. Trust me, the pay off will be worth it. If this is where you are with a woman showing it during the holidays is the only way to go. Even if she says she doesn’t care, DO NOT LISTEN. Just say it, most of us are not Shakespeare, women know, they don’t care how you say it, just that you do, and in this case write it too.

Signing the card:

All my love, Bob

Love you, Bob (playful)

I love you with all my heart, Bob (serious)

Oh I forgot, I wanted to tell you that I love you, Bob

I love you and want you to be my wife, Bob (Just in case)

Whatever you do this fill in the holiday with your new babe or your fiancé, have fun, laugh as much as you can, and let love in.  Try not to let the stress that always seems to accompany the big days get in the way of your enjoyment.  Remember, many fights around this time are due to circumstances beyond your control: i.e. planning, travelling, and just the anticipation that the holidays will work out perfect.  This is not the case and is quite rare, so be prepared for some hairy moments and always try to keep a sense of humor.

Please feel free to ask questions if there is something I missed and/or you have a unique situation that does not fit into these three headings.  I will be glad to help you get this fill in the holiday right.

Check out another take on  gift giving during our troubled economic times here.  A lot of great info to be found there.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

I got your back.

You’ve got mine.

Don’t listen to the haters,

We’re doing just fine.

Voices, looks

And exaggeration.

What they say means nothing,

Just causes needless aggravation.

Believe in you and me.

Now is what we have,

No one can tell us

What it ought to be.

Our only concern

Should be loving each other.

Enjoying the gift

Of the love of another.

Copyright ©2008 Veronica Romm

This caught me off guard and made me laugh. Kids are so funny. Thank goodness it’s not forever David.